I feel like i'm burning away into nothing; those around me just don't get what it feels to be my age, jobless, fat, on welfare, not respected, not as handsome as the men they secretly want to connect with.
I feel that if you look at the bottom of a pit and go six feet deeper, that's where i'll be; i'm tired of feeling this way; i don't want to feel like a loser, someone that not dependable, a child among his own children and someone that cannot be who someone thought they could be.
I just thought if i give all of myself i would get that in return; if i would give all my understanding i'll get that in return; if i defended all those that i truly love......i'll get that in return.
I wasted so much of myself to others......i have nothing left......no good is coming my way......no one can save me anymore......no one will help me or fight for me as i have done for those in the past.....to feel truly alone is to be truly worthless.
Tears run down my eyes when i wait for those supportive words I've given to others to come my way, to strengthen me, to support me, to make me feel that it is not the end.....i don't know how much longer i have left in my to suffer like this.
Maybe they'll get what they want once i'm gone.......
