You know, I tried to measure where I am in life by the company I keep and for fucks sake it doesn't help; what do I do when someone I know is doing what I think is great while they passively flaunt that shit to give themselves shine they want and crave....nothing really, people like that live to have people go "wow, you do that" knowing, in the back of their head, if they had a chance to sit on their ass eating Cheetos the rest of their lives they would; i'm just glad i'm never around those kind of people for long, the welcome wears out pretty quick.
So comes the endless battles for those with no/little direction to keep busy and see what the next day brings; I kinda feel that way, but not too much, it's a shame that some people think just waking up alive is something to be proud of; unless you're dying of something, well then, get up and clap ur hands, stomp your feet when you get outta bed, otherwise you need to evaluate your life and look at making some positive changes.
After my many tumbles and losses I've found some direction and continue to seek a brighter shining light for my other paths. Yes I have more than one. The brightest one is the one that my new love gives me. Yea as corny as the life skeptic i am, love does light the way and she is my sun at high noon.
Where will my life end up in the new year?* Hopefully with kids, new career path and a love stronger than I've ever known. The thing is I don't fear it, sure I worry, but who doesn't worry about the future when you have the option to give yourself one.
BSoM
*Written in Dec 2009
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