Thanks Tupac

 

If he wondered if "heaven's got a ghetto" then I guess this is what the fast food wars would really look like.

"I SERVE BREAKFAST ALL DAY BITCHASS CLOWN, WHO YOU CLAIM NUGGA!!"

BSoM

This REALLY Makes Me Want To Be A Dad

(click to ENLARGE)

P.S. If you do shit like this you should be euthanized

I Got That Fire Finger

A friend of mine asked me recently "What urks you?"

I couldn't answer that question on the spot so we thought it would make a nice post on my blog.

I can say right now that i can basically nit pick a ton of shit off anyone or anything for the simple fact is i have OCD...obsessive compulsive disorder...and hot damn if its not just that A DISORDER.

I can tell you now that is one of the things about me that urks others, but we not here for that ;-)

Anyway for the most part i pay attention to detail on many things in my life so i won't really focus on the small stuff (just some core things) cuz if i do I'll be here ALL. DAY. LONG.

LYING

I'm no saint, but i'm a person that if i meet you or i have some measure of trust in you i will believe what you say; if it's not the truth and you come to me later and you're like "ummm that's not the whole truth" I doubt I'll believe anything you'll say unless you're willing to prove it. I'd rather someone not tell me shit rather than give me a bullshit story. If you're close to someone THEY WILL FIND OUT. Besides not everyone can keep a secret. I've learned so much shit about other people through a third party, cuz they couldn't keep their mouth shut, that i just laugh inside when i see a person and know they are lying.

WALKING

Hey idiots we walk on the right in the country; move the fuck over and walk on the right. I just want to punch an idiot in the liver that wants to walk on the left or zig zags (OMG which gets in the way of EVERYONE) and fucks the walking flow up when they're trying to get to where they're going. With tourists I'll give you a pass cuz yes this city is amazing, but if you look at me like "hey douche bag I'm acting like a turkey in this city by looking up at amazing tall ass buildings while on a busy side walk, what the fuck is your problem" after i say excuse me, oh you will get the football shoulder in the heart when i breeze by.

I live and work in one of the busiest city's in the world so if they pass a law you better believe I'll be the first in line for that Liver Punching Patrol job.

VOMIT ADVICE QUOTES

Sounds nasty right? Well its not. Follow my words and you'll see it isn't. Every now and then people would ask me for advice or just ask my views on certain things. I would be true and honest in what i say because that's what they expect from a person and i make sure the person gets that when I'm speaking with them while exchanging verbal energy; hopefully they'll get something worth while from my insight and perspective.

With vomit quotes, people will just repeat the same shit that's been told over the years and we're numb to it cuz is already background advice noise. For prime example:

"There's more fish in the sea" -duh, who the fuck doesn't know that, but i just lost the one fish off my plate that i loved having, whats ur point fuck nose?

"Tomorrow's another day" -what? unless you end that sentence with "and I'm sending a hot female to make you feel better and she lacks a gag reflex", no? Then you know what.....I'll pass and close my ears to you.

"The grass is greener on the other side of the fence" -well you know what when I'm able to jump that fence to the good side after coppin a mean shit on the bad side then being able to hop over to the good side.....the only place to look at right now is to the greener side of the fence so don't remind me its better than where I'm at now.

"It is what it is" -this is now the hood's most repeated quote by far. Yea i know what it is, and i know what you're not.....original. No one sounds smart saying this fucking line anymore. Ask someone to explain it when they say this quote. All they gonna do is repeat the fucking thing again to you, lol.

INTERRUPTERS

LOL, that's for you RG!! hahahaha! Yea you know if you gonna cut in on me you better be ready for the same :-)

UNWANTED ARROGANCE

Okay we get it, you have a good life. You might be a "baller", hell you might even make it rain. But when you act like "I am the stink floating above all the shit".....that makes me smile knowing god is gonna put a foot to that throat and humble your ass.

TWO FACENESS

These people just kill me, lol. I'm talking about the type of person who jokingly calls you a hoe, but knows in the back of they head they need a new pair of knee pads cuz they been done wore out the old pair cuz of over use and runs the block with the nick name "Vacuum" that the dudes gave her. That's just pure ugly soul right there, lol. Granted that's an extreme example, but hey why half ass it and be nice?

-------------------------------
What I'm trying to convey here is that if someone comes to you to and seek to vent, wanting a bit of enlightenment through the pain and other things that would help ease the stress......Being there for someone in their time of need is a good thing and if you can help then even better, but cookie cutter advice just doesn't cut it anymore, life is not a sitcom; there are no commercial breaks and the tears are real.

That's all i have right now. What shit you dont like that you wanna give the fire finger to?

BSoM

Alcohol!

Christ on a crutch, this quote is soooooo true, lol.

Are people extra interested in you when they are drunk, knowing you're not that interesting?

Well now, you have some life evaluations you need to preform don't you.

BSoM

Beware Of The....

When A Black Man Enters an Elevator

This video is hilarious.

When Peddling Insurance Goes Wrong

Is this the Geico Gekko final moments?

Unconfirmed reports state that while on his tireless mission to promote his companies insurance awareness the Geico Gekko ran afoul of a potential customer Sammy The Spider.

When questioned by the police Sammy gave the accounts of the moments leading up to the attack and subsequent death of Geico Gekko.

When asking the spider "Oy, good chap how about insuring that web of yours mate"

The spider replied "why would i, when it comes out of my butt; if it gets wrecked i can just rebuild after a good meal"

The Gekko kept pushing the issue "but, mate you have to check the rate and you'll still have money left over for some good fish & chips or maybe a swig from a pint; 15 minutes could save you 15% or more!"

The spider looking agitated "you know i'm a spider, right? Look i'm starting to get hungry so if you're not out of here we're gonna have a problem"

A fight ensues when the Gekko refuses to leave and a passer by happens to take a snap shot once the fight was over. It is still unclear if the fight was self defense or cold blooded murder.

Authorities are now looking into the matter and a family representative ask the privacy of the Gekko's family be respected. He leaves behind a wife and 10 children.

You Gotta Becareful

I was at the gym last night and when you walk in you immediately see some weight machines and the row of treadmills.....well after i did my cardio and working towards the weight machines I noticed this older woman, shes looks about late 30's early 40's and the only reason i noticed her was she was going hard on the treadmill.

I set myself up on one of the machines and ready to do my thing and guess who comes flying off the fucking thing like she's being thrown by an unknown force and some how her water bottle went with her. I felt bad and laughed inside after she looked like she was ok and brushed herself off. The pain on her face seemed more from embarrassment cuz it was a packed house so all eyes were on her.

Lesson learned.......know your limits or you will get hurt. Be safe when you plan on passing your limitations.

Rest In Peace Buddy

For my own personal reasons comedy is very important in my life and well its very good for the soul; I believe that whole heartedly.

Last week George Carlin died. If you never experienced his stand up comedy then you're missing out on the best laughs of your life.

If you're wondering the picture above is his 1972 arrest photo because at the 1972 Milwaukee Summerfest he was charged with violating the obscenity laws for preforming his classic "Seven Words You Can't Say On T.V."

“	Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits.	”
	— George Carlin

Another classic joke that keeps me laughing:

“	The very existence of flame throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'	”
	— George Carlin

For a history of George Carlin along with a list of his comedy albums and shows please visit his wiki page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Carlin

COMMON SENSE

'Nuff Said!

Squidbillies

Its a show about a southern squid family living their lives day to day and taking life as it's given to them. Next to Frisky Dingo this is another good show that just has me laughing from start to finish.

www.adultswim.com/shows/squidbillies/

You Wanna Laugh Your Ass Off?

This show airs on Cartoon Network on their ADULTSWIM evening programming for adults who like cartoons, but still dont crap in a diaper and still learning their ABC's. Definitely not for kids unless you're a really bad/cool parent. They are already on season 2. If any of you are downloaders like i am and any of you use eMule or any client that connects to the eDonkey networks (P2P) here are the links to the shows both seasons (so far): http://sharethefiles.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=56859&highlight=dingo