I Got My Drink And My Two Step

Things are kinda slow for me these past couple of weeks as far as not being stressed by anything, but on the flip side not that much good or anything exciting has been poppin' off. Now when that happens I'm sure you know you get to thinking about your past.

My mind touched on how my friends and I, once we hit that age, started going to strip clubs. We hit various places and the older we got and more money we had the better the place we visit.

We've hit some grimy places. I'm talking bout stretch marks for day, bad attitudes and even a 250 pound (oh, yes!) beast working the tension of her thong to its limits on that stage. Even the stripper poles were bending out of the way of her path so they don't feel the wrath of her mighty mighty meaty power and get damaged in her attempts to be sexy and get them dollar bills.

We were young and stupid. We had plenty of fun; from who got the best lap dance from the thickest female to one friend who always SWORE that the stripper was feeling him, but when he called the number she gave him it was the wrong phone #. Staggering home drunk while the sun peaked out its first light for those sorry bastards eating a shitty meal at a dirty ass diner before we slug on home and wake up that evening and do it again.

It was a fun experience; not saying its good or bad. I know i eased off when i started to look "familiar" to some of the "round the way" spots and instead of talking that good shit while getting a lap dance the girl wants to talk about her kids.......i'm like "WTF"????

On our back and forth journeys we would see the guys that we could have turned into if we weren't careful sitting at the bar, drink after drink, drunk staring at women they wish they could score, yet knowing they can't pursue anything other than good sex and a drained wallet IF they gave these guys the time of day, yet there they were time after time trying to turn a stripper into a housewife or bless them with wifey status. Its hard now a days to do that with a regular women with so much shit someone could carry that doing it with a stripper its even worse.

Its fun to reminisce on the past and from time to time....its normal and puts a smile on my face. I haven't been to a strip club in years. Its an experience a young man shouldn't be without, but it does have its limits. It's fun to visit every now and then, but when you start remembering that it's "Buffet Thursday" and that chick with the fat ass, Lexus, is dancing that day too......then you need to step back and enjoy ur life without the booty shaking you're paying for with a watered drink or 9 dollar beer in your hand.

BSoM

P.S. Wish i could have found a black barbie picture cuz i like mines Round & Brown, lol.

I Got That Fire Finger

A friend of mine asked me recently "What urks you?"

I couldn't answer that question on the spot so we thought it would make a nice post on my blog.

I can say right now that i can basically nit pick a ton of shit off anyone or anything for the simple fact is i have OCD...obsessive compulsive disorder...and hot damn if its not just that A DISORDER.

I can tell you now that is one of the things about me that urks others, but we not here for that ;-)

Anyway for the most part i pay attention to detail on many things in my life so i won't really focus on the small stuff (just some core things) cuz if i do I'll be here ALL. DAY. LONG.

LYING

I'm no saint, but i'm a person that if i meet you or i have some measure of trust in you i will believe what you say; if it's not the truth and you come to me later and you're like "ummm that's not the whole truth" I doubt I'll believe anything you'll say unless you're willing to prove it. I'd rather someone not tell me shit rather than give me a bullshit story. If you're close to someone THEY WILL FIND OUT. Besides not everyone can keep a secret. I've learned so much shit about other people through a third party, cuz they couldn't keep their mouth shut, that i just laugh inside when i see a person and know they are lying.

WALKING

Hey idiots we walk on the right in the country; move the fuck over and walk on the right. I just want to punch an idiot in the liver that wants to walk on the left or zig zags (OMG which gets in the way of EVERYONE) and fucks the walking flow up when they're trying to get to where they're going. With tourists I'll give you a pass cuz yes this city is amazing, but if you look at me like "hey douche bag I'm acting like a turkey in this city by looking up at amazing tall ass buildings while on a busy side walk, what the fuck is your problem" after i say excuse me, oh you will get the football shoulder in the heart when i breeze by.

I live and work in one of the busiest city's in the world so if they pass a law you better believe I'll be the first in line for that Liver Punching Patrol job.

VOMIT ADVICE QUOTES

Sounds nasty right? Well its not. Follow my words and you'll see it isn't. Every now and then people would ask me for advice or just ask my views on certain things. I would be true and honest in what i say because that's what they expect from a person and i make sure the person gets that when I'm speaking with them while exchanging verbal energy; hopefully they'll get something worth while from my insight and perspective.

With vomit quotes, people will just repeat the same shit that's been told over the years and we're numb to it cuz is already background advice noise. For prime example:

"There's more fish in the sea" -duh, who the fuck doesn't know that, but i just lost the one fish off my plate that i loved having, whats ur point fuck nose?

"Tomorrow's another day" -what? unless you end that sentence with "and I'm sending a hot female to make you feel better and she lacks a gag reflex", no? Then you know what.....I'll pass and close my ears to you.

"The grass is greener on the other side of the fence" -well you know what when I'm able to jump that fence to the good side after coppin a mean shit on the bad side then being able to hop over to the good side.....the only place to look at right now is to the greener side of the fence so don't remind me its better than where I'm at now.

"It is what it is" -this is now the hood's most repeated quote by far. Yea i know what it is, and i know what you're not.....original. No one sounds smart saying this fucking line anymore. Ask someone to explain it when they say this quote. All they gonna do is repeat the fucking thing again to you, lol.

INTERRUPTERS

LOL, that's for you RG!! hahahaha! Yea you know if you gonna cut in on me you better be ready for the same :-)

UNWANTED ARROGANCE

Okay we get it, you have a good life. You might be a "baller", hell you might even make it rain. But when you act like "I am the stink floating above all the shit".....that makes me smile knowing god is gonna put a foot to that throat and humble your ass.

TWO FACENESS

These people just kill me, lol. I'm talking about the type of person who jokingly calls you a hoe, but knows in the back of they head they need a new pair of knee pads cuz they been done wore out the old pair cuz of over use and runs the block with the nick name "Vacuum" that the dudes gave her. That's just pure ugly soul right there, lol. Granted that's an extreme example, but hey why half ass it and be nice?

-------------------------------
What I'm trying to convey here is that if someone comes to you to and seek to vent, wanting a bit of enlightenment through the pain and other things that would help ease the stress......Being there for someone in their time of need is a good thing and if you can help then even better, but cookie cutter advice just doesn't cut it anymore, life is not a sitcom; there are no commercial breaks and the tears are real.

That's all i have right now. What shit you dont like that you wanna give the fire finger to?

BSoM

With My Luck It Figures

The one day i get off on a Tuesday....of all days of the week....because of the Jewish holiday i freaking get sick. Must have been all the friends joking saying i was so lucky or they hated me (jokingly) for having the day off when some of them had to work.

I stood in bed all day; caught up on my downloaded shows and movies; read a little; chatted with friends.......ugh, i need that vacation quick i was talking about.

I feel like i lost a few things, gained a few things all the while still waiting for that major change i feel is coming in my life.

Surprisingly, I've found inspiration with smart, go getting friends that it's rubbing off on me. I got real comfortable in my space and that's just short changing myself and the person i can further become.........that needs to stop.

Time to kick life in the balls and walk away laughing.......I just gotta get the fuck outta this bed first!

BSoM

Colonoscopy........How Do I Hate Thee

Yes that was last Friday; me, Mr. Huggy Bear getting violated all for the sake of my health.

More on that in a minute......

One thing I want to share with you the reader who may relate to this either by your own experience or someone you share your life with is that having a G.I. (gastrointestinal) disorder is no fun. It can range from discomfort to extreme and life threatening. For some reason i jump from discomfort to life threatening as if it were a light switch.

Since my late teens I've been dealing with Crohns Disease (see link below for more info). It came at me with full force. I went from a kid who could tackle anything on his plate to always wondering "if i eat this will it hurt me". It did not help that i was extremely over weight as a teen and young adult with no eating discipline. Killing a plate of some mean Spanish food or fast food meant discomfort, cramps and pain that would leave me balled up in bed thinking i had one of those aliens ready to burst out of me and Ripley was in the next room with a flame thrower (If you don't follow Aliens then you are sooooo lame! lol).

Not to mention mental stress can trigger bad discomfort also. Mind and body are truly linked, take care of one to help the other and you will be in a positive balance.

Needless to say having a colonoscopy becomes routine rather than that special doctors visit once in one or two years after a certain age that you hate to schedule, but need to do. When i talk to older folks they shift their eyebrows and tell me "you're too young to be doing that now"; then i tell them about the Crohns.

When i arrived in my early adulthood I was faced with another ailment triggered by Crohns......abscesses. Not a very fun thing to have and I've been through three already. I am happy to say i haven't had one in years and pray i never get one again. For all you mean/evil thinking people, yes this is something you would wish on an enemy.

Another is sudden and severe bowel bleeds; this is scary. If for any reason you have blood in your stool or excessive blood loss out your backside, GET CHECKED OUT. It can be a sign of something serious. The first time it happened to me i passed out and had to be admitted to the hospital for a few days. The crazy thing about it is after i followed up with my doctor they couldn't find the cause. I got a colonoscopy; test were done to examine my small intestines; i even had an endoscopy done to see if i have a bleeding ulcer in my stomach. All negative from the hospital tests and my own doctor.

One thing i wanted to do that night of my first bleed was rip the balls off of one of the EMS workers; this bastard was doing the write up of my 911 call in the EMS truck and when i mentioned i had Crohns this idiot says "Yea, i had a friend who had that....he died at 36", I was what 26 (I think) at the time. You really think telling someone that shit is going to ease their mind?? I was lucky my wife was riding with me for support and i never forget to remind her and thank her for that. Another thing this idiot did was when they were waiting to admit me to triage i felt light headed again and asked for oxygen; he didn't want to get up to the truck to get it and i passed out again; i woke up with 4 guys picking me up to put me on a bed from the wheelchair. Some people should really examine their career choices because his personality for that job was ill suited. You're helping people survive something, don't be cold, uncaring or mentally irresponsible.

What Lead To Fridays Exam:
On a Thursday (about 2/3 weeks ago) when i got home i experienced another bleed and since the blood has to come from somewhere i started feeling dizzy and light headed; I called my wife and she planned to meet me at the emergency room. I hopped in a cab and kept telling the driver to hurry. I was so afraid i was going to pass out in his cab and he would have to take me to one of those horrible hood hospitals i hate going to or god forbid dump me out of his cab in the street passed out to a horrible fate. But i stayed positive and strong; he was cool and did his best. I held on and made it. Needless to say after hours of observation, being given tons of fluids along with quick tests and waiting for results from blood taken they choose not to admit me since i was also feeling much better. I was able to go home while being advised to follow up with my primary doctor. The blood in my digestive system took about 2 days to clear my system and whatever was bleeding sealed itself up.

On a positive note after the review of my procedure my primary doctor surprised me with some good news. Comparing the results from the current tests to the tests done in the past and the health of my gastrointestinal track is better. Although there was an area of concern so he took a biopsy for further tests. He asked what i was doing and i told him i really eased up on the foods i ate (waaaaay better food discipline), vitamin supplements, cutting down my carbonated drinks consumption (sodas); anything that would cause me distress physically and took advantage of my gym membership to strength my body along with seeing a therapist for my mental health.

The bad news is YET AGAIN i'm back to square one and still left to wonder what the fuck is bleeding me out so bad inside every few years?

Considering the life span living in the hood it kinda does feel like turning 30 years old is giving me a mid life crisis and on top of what my body goes through it puts things into perspective about things in your past, how your present is holding up and your outlook/hopes for the future. I just pray Crohns isn't genetic because i do not want to pass this on to my children.

DO NOT IGNORE THE SIGNS YOUR BODY GIVES YOU!!

I want to leave on a positive note and say please don't worry; right now I'm fine and taking care of myself. My support structure may be small, but i manage and i will prevail no matter where my future takes me. My life and emotions are in a valley and i will face my challengers head on, but i will reach another peak and enjoy my life with whatever happiness is given to me by god.

To learn lifes lessons is to put yourself on a path of true mental clarity.

BSoM

Website:
http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/crohns/

You Gotta Becareful

I was at the gym last night and when you walk in you immediately see some weight machines and the row of treadmills.....well after i did my cardio and working towards the weight machines I noticed this older woman, shes looks about late 30's early 40's and the only reason i noticed her was she was going hard on the treadmill.

I set myself up on one of the machines and ready to do my thing and guess who comes flying off the fucking thing like she's being thrown by an unknown force and some how her water bottle went with her. I felt bad and laughed inside after she looked like she was ok and brushed herself off. The pain on her face seemed more from embarrassment cuz it was a packed house so all eyes were on her.

Lesson learned.......know your limits or you will get hurt. Be safe when you plan on passing your limitations.