Avoid Me At All Cost!

Good lord, after 31 years on this rock spinning through space i'm learning how to drive a fucking car.  This is only pathetic if i didn't live in this wonderful city with 24/7 transit.

Every now and then I have gotten behind the wheel for a very short amount of time, nothing that would really leave an imprint or have me walking away with something learned and wanting to get behind again.  Nor have I had friends or family with cars that have the time or trust to teach me.  I let it go since it seems like I wasn't going to be transplanted to a place where I needed to learn or it would be miles and miles of walking and waiting for buses that never seem to come.

Speed up to now and with the patience to teach, my girlfriend is teaching me how to drive her car.  Granted she was hesitant since I let my Learners Permit to lapse and had to get an regular state ID, but after I scored my permit a while back she feels a bit relieved and is pushing me (hard) to get my license.

Right now its great.  I can navigate the regular streets really well even tho she laughs that sometime I drive like and old lady...........it might be the fact that i'm in a half ton semi-sports car with two lives depending on how careful I drive to make sure we don't end up in the emergency room because someone learning to drive got to comfortable behind the wheel of a car.

There are only a few things I can't stand about the whole driving experience......
1. Asshole aggressive drivers.....now my girl is an aggressive driver (not the asshole type), but when it's time to let people merge into a lane and being a respectful driver she does all that very well; but those few who just terrorize people because they have to hurry up to a place where it doesn't matter what time they get there......just asshole'ish behavior that shouldn't be tolerated cuz they put their own and other peoples life at risk.

2. Highways
It might just be I have to get use to the high speed and constant attention that's needed to travel the highways of NYC; its nerve racking to someone who is starting to learn; so you know at like 6am on the weekend is the only time i'm learning on the highways for now.  Although there are exceptions, like when we went to get our new dog a year ago......we traveled so far i think we were like an hour from the Canadian border; we had to switch off so she could get some rest.....coming back was no fun because it was cold, but not cold enough for snow so it rained HEAVY; that was my first highway experience and i think i did well, but it left me....cautious.

Over all i'm getting use to it and can't wait to be a constant driver and someone that doesn't give it a second thought, but is always careful cuz not many people walk away from a crash and if you do sometimes you painfully limp your whole life all from just one hurtful event in your whole entire life............Drive Safe Everyone.

BSoM

TV, I Miss U........Not Really

Around mid November due to some money issues I had my Cable service cut for about a month. Now I'm not that hooked to TV that I freaked out about it; as you know I download a lot of the shows I love so that helped.

I really didn't miss anything other than NY1 for my morning viewing while I'm getting dressed and my general CNN/DISC/FOOD and other channels for general and knowledge viewing.

It also gave me time to think how bad I was hooked on TV. I would watch shows over and over again that I've seen years ago (or semi-recently) and it amazed me that this is what would consume (maybe) 4 or more hours of my evening after I got home from work.

TV really puts you in a headlock and doesn't let you go. This made me put the mirror in front of myself for some self-refection...........I don't give myself much to do at home. Sure I clean my apartment, play with my dog, work on my computer........but those I do by default day in/out.

I'm in the mists of giving myself some project and keeping myself from constantly watching TV just to watch it. It slows me down, get me mentally and physically exhausted, but what's worse is I do like many people and have bullshit playing on the TV just to have it as background noise and I'm not even focused on what's being shown while I do my day to day work around the house. I see this as a very bad sign. This is why now I'm putting my massive music collection to work, but I need a better sound system (which I'm working on).

I know people do need distractions cuz their mad stressed. You do not want to stop and think cuz of your problems and issues start to creep in; people need to just think, imagine and stretch the boundaries of your thinking without something (like TV) nipping at the edge of your ear taking your full attention from yourself, your mental energy or ability to think beyond what's fed to you by outside sources which aren't 100% reliable. Once you notice this you'll see that most of the things you think of and come up with are just things you heard from TV.

Granted I was forced to do this, but give yourself a break from TV every now and then; you gotta exercise your mind and see what kinda thinker you are. It takes practice and focus, but you'll be proud you did it.

BSoM

To All The Faceless, These Are My Mantra's

I have a lot of things i tell myself to get myself through difficult situations or just through the day. Below are some of the things i keep close to me to help myself deal with the world as i see it.

Who are The Faceless.....most of you are. I enjoy my visitors weather you leave a comment or not, but most of you i do not know, you are my faceless friends/fans/critics/supporters and i hope my words bring you a different kinda insight from those who choose to not peek from above the box that is their life that crosses paths with yours.

What are your Mantra's? Below are mine.

TO EACH THEIR OWN

Think of everyone as having their own Vibe Line; you know like the strings on a musical instrument; we all create our own sounds/vibe along side one another. This is what helps me prepare myself to deal with someone I've never dealt with. I never have any curtain expectation when dealing with a person because once you interact with them and you have your mind open you can feel their vibe and hopefully it will be a positive exchange; if it is...wonderful...continue that growth and learn as much as you can from one another. If not, take what you learned and grow within while you move on with your life.

A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE

This is just the OCD organizer in me. I admire those that can keep a controlled mess around them, but something about me and the way I'm wired likes to have everything in line, shaped up straight and put in its proper place. It's a weird zone i put myself in and i do get in over my head because organization does get tricky when you're dealing with too much detail.

UNDERSTANDING IS KEY

I've gone through tons of things in my life, but these are my experiences, my bags i must carry until i set them down when the time calls for it. To understand someones situations and thought processes as to why they are going through what they are going through is key to helping them maneuver through the stress and reach resolution. Besides it also grows your understanding of a
person and things around you. The best Chinese proverb I've ever heard was "To learn from your mistakes is smart, to learn from other peoples mistakes is wise". Some of you may not want to open your eyes and ears to others when they need someone, but think about what you might learn for your own good.

NEVER KISS ANYONE'S ASS

This is one of the few things I've learned from my father. No one respects an ass kisser and those that do only get used. Stand strong, but not over bearing and always know that respect is not achieved by brown nosing.

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY/ASK

You wanna try something? You wanna know something? What the fuck are you standing around waiting for......try it, ask for it. Never sit around wondering if you should; hoping it will come to you instead of you going to it. Do what you need to do to bolster yourself up, but don't take too long, then go get yours. Don't let those situations pile up from when you wish you would have asked or tried something when the opportunity presented itself. Regret is like a cold finger down the crack of your ass....a funny and unpleasant feeling.

SOMEONE OUT THERE HAS IT WORSE

Its kinda hard to think about it because you have to touch on someone else's misery to know that whatever you're going through.....you really haven't hit the bottom of the barrel. Know that life throws people many challenges and you may not wish to think of it, someone out there is getting it worse than you'll ever imagine. Keeps things in perspective when you bitch about something someone wish they could bitch about, but can't.

DO MORE NOW TO DO LESS LATER

Kinda self explanatory. Don't be lazy, lol.

WHEN THE TIME CALLS FOR IT WORK ON YOURSELF, BE A LITTLE SELFISH

Do people gravitate towards you? Do they feel you are their dock to their wandering ship? How battered and drained do you feel after being someones "go to guy"? Take that time out for yourself, be selfish enjoy your life and please yourself, hell have others please you for a change. Its best to recharge yourself from time to time so those that seek your light through their storm know that you will always be there. But be nice and give fair warning to those you will ignore so in a way you'll still be there for them, but you're gently nudging them on a path to help themselves when you're not around cuz you're on your "me time" grind.

BSoM

I Got That Fire Finger

A friend of mine asked me recently "What urks you?"

I couldn't answer that question on the spot so we thought it would make a nice post on my blog.

I can say right now that i can basically nit pick a ton of shit off anyone or anything for the simple fact is i have OCD...obsessive compulsive disorder...and hot damn if its not just that A DISORDER.

I can tell you now that is one of the things about me that urks others, but we not here for that ;-)

Anyway for the most part i pay attention to detail on many things in my life so i won't really focus on the small stuff (just some core things) cuz if i do I'll be here ALL. DAY. LONG.

LYING

I'm no saint, but i'm a person that if i meet you or i have some measure of trust in you i will believe what you say; if it's not the truth and you come to me later and you're like "ummm that's not the whole truth" I doubt I'll believe anything you'll say unless you're willing to prove it. I'd rather someone not tell me shit rather than give me a bullshit story. If you're close to someone THEY WILL FIND OUT. Besides not everyone can keep a secret. I've learned so much shit about other people through a third party, cuz they couldn't keep their mouth shut, that i just laugh inside when i see a person and know they are lying.

WALKING

Hey idiots we walk on the right in the country; move the fuck over and walk on the right. I just want to punch an idiot in the liver that wants to walk on the left or zig zags (OMG which gets in the way of EVERYONE) and fucks the walking flow up when they're trying to get to where they're going. With tourists I'll give you a pass cuz yes this city is amazing, but if you look at me like "hey douche bag I'm acting like a turkey in this city by looking up at amazing tall ass buildings while on a busy side walk, what the fuck is your problem" after i say excuse me, oh you will get the football shoulder in the heart when i breeze by.

I live and work in one of the busiest city's in the world so if they pass a law you better believe I'll be the first in line for that Liver Punching Patrol job.

VOMIT ADVICE QUOTES

Sounds nasty right? Well its not. Follow my words and you'll see it isn't. Every now and then people would ask me for advice or just ask my views on certain things. I would be true and honest in what i say because that's what they expect from a person and i make sure the person gets that when I'm speaking with them while exchanging verbal energy; hopefully they'll get something worth while from my insight and perspective.

With vomit quotes, people will just repeat the same shit that's been told over the years and we're numb to it cuz is already background advice noise. For prime example:

"There's more fish in the sea" -duh, who the fuck doesn't know that, but i just lost the one fish off my plate that i loved having, whats ur point fuck nose?

"Tomorrow's another day" -what? unless you end that sentence with "and I'm sending a hot female to make you feel better and she lacks a gag reflex", no? Then you know what.....I'll pass and close my ears to you.

"The grass is greener on the other side of the fence" -well you know what when I'm able to jump that fence to the good side after coppin a mean shit on the bad side then being able to hop over to the good side.....the only place to look at right now is to the greener side of the fence so don't remind me its better than where I'm at now.

"It is what it is" -this is now the hood's most repeated quote by far. Yea i know what it is, and i know what you're not.....original. No one sounds smart saying this fucking line anymore. Ask someone to explain it when they say this quote. All they gonna do is repeat the fucking thing again to you, lol.

INTERRUPTERS

LOL, that's for you RG!! hahahaha! Yea you know if you gonna cut in on me you better be ready for the same :-)

UNWANTED ARROGANCE

Okay we get it, you have a good life. You might be a "baller", hell you might even make it rain. But when you act like "I am the stink floating above all the shit".....that makes me smile knowing god is gonna put a foot to that throat and humble your ass.

TWO FACENESS

These people just kill me, lol. I'm talking about the type of person who jokingly calls you a hoe, but knows in the back of they head they need a new pair of knee pads cuz they been done wore out the old pair cuz of over use and runs the block with the nick name "Vacuum" that the dudes gave her. That's just pure ugly soul right there, lol. Granted that's an extreme example, but hey why half ass it and be nice?

-------------------------------
What I'm trying to convey here is that if someone comes to you to and seek to vent, wanting a bit of enlightenment through the pain and other things that would help ease the stress......Being there for someone in their time of need is a good thing and if you can help then even better, but cookie cutter advice just doesn't cut it anymore, life is not a sitcom; there are no commercial breaks and the tears are real.

That's all i have right now. What shit you dont like that you wanna give the fire finger to?

BSoM

Breathe

Focus your mind,
Breath in the future,
Exhale the stress,
Find your balance.
-BronxStateOfMind

For All You Mouth Breathers

I was on the train today and i noticed a few people breathing through their mouth. Its not like i'm against it....if you have to do it for some reason then by all means.

Thing is when you really think at how your body work you really should breath through your nose. Your nose is the bodies natural air filter. How you ask?

Hair and mucus.

Both trap a lot of particles in the air we breath while nasal cavity helps constantly push out the mucus out of your nose where the particle land and get stuck. Then once and a while you have to pick/blow it out of your nose.

If you've ever been in a brightly lit area and you see little things floating in the air imagine what you dont see and understand you are breathing that into your body.

No you don't have to be scared if you're a hypochondriac, but pay mind to and understands what goes into your body and what comes out. It can save you a lot of downtime from being sick or run down in general; sometimes feeling shitty isn't a mind state it can be a physical cause.

Peace

From My Heart Thank You...

Shout out to you Nicky for your kind words and advice. You've been a huge supporter and I thank you for your tremendous insight into a lot of things. You're right i'm not handling things right locked away from life and other people, it ain't the way to live and i'm doing what i'm doing when i'm doing it, lol.

If my one love does not come back to me i may have to accept it deep down, but i know that love might come back to me with a different person, but its still love and i have to see it for what it is.

Moving on might be hard if it happens, but hey my heart is out and all i speak is truth so nothing else is left but to live my life and make myself happy even if my heart will be alone for a while.

I know i can make my own self stronger and can't let anyone stand in my way that doesn't understand what i'm trying to do to better myself and those in my life.

The best men/women have the biggest faults and it takes a genuine person to see that and help them through it no matter how much pain they are in. That is one definition of love and strength in a person. I hope i find that again. THE STRONGEST HEART HURTS THE MOST.

My brand new day is coming soon and i hope it is as i expect it to be. I'm waiting to see what the future holds for me and if my brand new day is with my wife, even better yet i can't get my hopes up.

But for now its back to the gym for me; no one is focusing on me but me and ur right i should like the smiles i'm getting :)


P.S. Did you send in that complaint to pizza hut corporate already??
ru ru ruoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, LMAO