With My Luck It Figures

The one day i get off on a Tuesday....of all days of the week....because of the Jewish holiday i freaking get sick. Must have been all the friends joking saying i was so lucky or they hated me (jokingly) for having the day off when some of them had to work.

I stood in bed all day; caught up on my downloaded shows and movies; read a little; chatted with friends.......ugh, i need that vacation quick i was talking about.

I feel like i lost a few things, gained a few things all the while still waiting for that major change i feel is coming in my life.

Surprisingly, I've found inspiration with smart, go getting friends that it's rubbing off on me. I got real comfortable in my space and that's just short changing myself and the person i can further become.........that needs to stop.

Time to kick life in the balls and walk away laughing.......I just gotta get the fuck outta this bed first!

BSoM

The Ever Changing BSoM

I asked myself something this morning that's been brewing in me for months that I couldn't answer; I didn't want to face what that answer might be.

Can a person change? Can I change?

My answer......fundamentally, no. But not a solid answer if think about it.

I believe we have a base design to our persona, this foundation.......our soul if you like to think that way. I think that can't be changed..... it can be made stronger, but to the core it's who we are.

Once our awareness of self kicks in we hit the ground learning. Further shaping this design by what we absorb through our day to day experiences. These experiences do help shape the temple we build above this foundation. For better or worse.

In turn we shield our true self in certain habits we developed over time that would make anyone think "this is who this ma'fucka really is?", which makes you ask yourself in the mirror every morning "why can't people see me?". How many masks do you wear? How deep did you bury that part of you that you know is the person who you are truly happy with?

And through extreme circumstances and proper guidance that is the part of us that can be changed. Most of us come to a point in time where we shed that skin or multiple skins. We take this changed life with a new outlook, a new sense of "This Is Who I Am" which is more for yourself than those around you. If those around you fail to understand, fail to see; it's alright......i learned to be true to yourself, love yourself, strengthen your foundation and above all love who you are. Then those who do see will flock to your temple in droves........Not to worship, but to share in the light it reflects and with luck it helps them change.

Change is possible.

Can you change?

BSoM

Beware Of The....

For The Big Bottom Lovers, Part 3

Found these amazing art works on the site that tagged the pictures at the bottom. I'm not gonna front; a nice big bottom girl is a beautiful thing which is why i found these pictures amazing and decided to share.
The site is a NSFW site so view it when you're at home. Also most of the pics are pretty graphic so you've been fore warned.

For The Big Bottom Lovers, Part 2

For The Big Bottom Lovers, Part 1

When Is The World Going To Realize...

*Good people don't advertise*

Oooo How I Love To Feel You On My Lips

Long Island Iced Tea

I must admit that this is my drink of choice when i need something stronger than beer. Funny thing is when i was younger and i first heard of this drink i thought "hey i love iced tea, now they make one with liquor mixed in". Granted when i was 3 drinks in my friends caught the biggest laugh because i was tore up! Suffice it to say that day i found out there is not one drop of iced tea in that fucking drink and was the cause of my one and only hang over.

Really, I don't have hang overs after heavy drinking. The only thing i feel after i wake up from a night of drinking is just being tired from staying up late.

One Of The Best Prank Calls, EVER!!!

I was just flipping through the YouTube pages and came upon the subject of prank calls to even wilder trick calls sponsored by radio stations to see if a spouse is cheating.

They would see if the person called who they announced they won tickets to a concert, dinner, hell even having flowers delivered to see if the person they mentioned to take with or deliver said gifts is the one on the other line quite as a mouse listening in while you the listener hears the mess unfold.

This one took the cake though. It's an amazing reverse prank call on a telemarketer.

This call had me in tears it's so funny. ENJOY!!!

BSoM

When A Black Man Enters an Elevator

This video is hilarious.

When Peddling Insurance Goes Wrong

Is this the Geico Gekko final moments?

Unconfirmed reports state that while on his tireless mission to promote his companies insurance awareness the Geico Gekko ran afoul of a potential customer Sammy The Spider.

When questioned by the police Sammy gave the accounts of the moments leading up to the attack and subsequent death of Geico Gekko.

When asking the spider "Oy, good chap how about insuring that web of yours mate"

The spider replied "why would i, when it comes out of my butt; if it gets wrecked i can just rebuild after a good meal"

The Gekko kept pushing the issue "but, mate you have to check the rate and you'll still have money left over for some good fish & chips or maybe a swig from a pint; 15 minutes could save you 15% or more!"

The spider looking agitated "you know i'm a spider, right? Look i'm starting to get hungry so if you're not out of here we're gonna have a problem"

A fight ensues when the Gekko refuses to leave and a passer by happens to take a snap shot once the fight was over. It is still unclear if the fight was self defense or cold blooded murder.

Authorities are now looking into the matter and a family representative ask the privacy of the Gekko's family be respected. He leaves behind a wife and 10 children.

Colonoscopy........How Do I Hate Thee

Yes that was last Friday; me, Mr. Huggy Bear getting violated all for the sake of my health.

More on that in a minute......

One thing I want to share with you the reader who may relate to this either by your own experience or someone you share your life with is that having a G.I. (gastrointestinal) disorder is no fun. It can range from discomfort to extreme and life threatening. For some reason i jump from discomfort to life threatening as if it were a light switch.

Since my late teens I've been dealing with Crohns Disease (see link below for more info). It came at me with full force. I went from a kid who could tackle anything on his plate to always wondering "if i eat this will it hurt me". It did not help that i was extremely over weight as a teen and young adult with no eating discipline. Killing a plate of some mean Spanish food or fast food meant discomfort, cramps and pain that would leave me balled up in bed thinking i had one of those aliens ready to burst out of me and Ripley was in the next room with a flame thrower (If you don't follow Aliens then you are sooooo lame! lol).

Not to mention mental stress can trigger bad discomfort also. Mind and body are truly linked, take care of one to help the other and you will be in a positive balance.

Needless to say having a colonoscopy becomes routine rather than that special doctors visit once in one or two years after a certain age that you hate to schedule, but need to do. When i talk to older folks they shift their eyebrows and tell me "you're too young to be doing that now"; then i tell them about the Crohns.

When i arrived in my early adulthood I was faced with another ailment triggered by Crohns......abscesses. Not a very fun thing to have and I've been through three already. I am happy to say i haven't had one in years and pray i never get one again. For all you mean/evil thinking people, yes this is something you would wish on an enemy.

Another is sudden and severe bowel bleeds; this is scary. If for any reason you have blood in your stool or excessive blood loss out your backside, GET CHECKED OUT. It can be a sign of something serious. The first time it happened to me i passed out and had to be admitted to the hospital for a few days. The crazy thing about it is after i followed up with my doctor they couldn't find the cause. I got a colonoscopy; test were done to examine my small intestines; i even had an endoscopy done to see if i have a bleeding ulcer in my stomach. All negative from the hospital tests and my own doctor.

One thing i wanted to do that night of my first bleed was rip the balls off of one of the EMS workers; this bastard was doing the write up of my 911 call in the EMS truck and when i mentioned i had Crohns this idiot says "Yea, i had a friend who had that....he died at 36", I was what 26 (I think) at the time. You really think telling someone that shit is going to ease their mind?? I was lucky my wife was riding with me for support and i never forget to remind her and thank her for that. Another thing this idiot did was when they were waiting to admit me to triage i felt light headed again and asked for oxygen; he didn't want to get up to the truck to get it and i passed out again; i woke up with 4 guys picking me up to put me on a bed from the wheelchair. Some people should really examine their career choices because his personality for that job was ill suited. You're helping people survive something, don't be cold, uncaring or mentally irresponsible.

What Lead To Fridays Exam:
On a Thursday (about 2/3 weeks ago) when i got home i experienced another bleed and since the blood has to come from somewhere i started feeling dizzy and light headed; I called my wife and she planned to meet me at the emergency room. I hopped in a cab and kept telling the driver to hurry. I was so afraid i was going to pass out in his cab and he would have to take me to one of those horrible hood hospitals i hate going to or god forbid dump me out of his cab in the street passed out to a horrible fate. But i stayed positive and strong; he was cool and did his best. I held on and made it. Needless to say after hours of observation, being given tons of fluids along with quick tests and waiting for results from blood taken they choose not to admit me since i was also feeling much better. I was able to go home while being advised to follow up with my primary doctor. The blood in my digestive system took about 2 days to clear my system and whatever was bleeding sealed itself up.

On a positive note after the review of my procedure my primary doctor surprised me with some good news. Comparing the results from the current tests to the tests done in the past and the health of my gastrointestinal track is better. Although there was an area of concern so he took a biopsy for further tests. He asked what i was doing and i told him i really eased up on the foods i ate (waaaaay better food discipline), vitamin supplements, cutting down my carbonated drinks consumption (sodas); anything that would cause me distress physically and took advantage of my gym membership to strength my body along with seeing a therapist for my mental health.

The bad news is YET AGAIN i'm back to square one and still left to wonder what the fuck is bleeding me out so bad inside every few years?

Considering the life span living in the hood it kinda does feel like turning 30 years old is giving me a mid life crisis and on top of what my body goes through it puts things into perspective about things in your past, how your present is holding up and your outlook/hopes for the future. I just pray Crohns isn't genetic because i do not want to pass this on to my children.

DO NOT IGNORE THE SIGNS YOUR BODY GIVES YOU!!

I want to leave on a positive note and say please don't worry; right now I'm fine and taking care of myself. My support structure may be small, but i manage and i will prevail no matter where my future takes me. My life and emotions are in a valley and i will face my challengers head on, but i will reach another peak and enjoy my life with whatever happiness is given to me by god.

To learn lifes lessons is to put yourself on a path of true mental clarity.

BSoM

Website:
http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/crohns/

Winter Getaway

I might plan a trip in December; dont know or maybe early next year. Mostly a 3 or 4 day weekend. Any suggestions?

I heard Cali is good around that time; might find a spot next to a beach; not looking to do the tourist thing; just relax ;-)

My 9/11 Experience

I was on my way to work and no one on the train had any idea what was going on. It was still early and no announcements were made or the panic hasn't set in which kicks in the security measures to protect the people of this city by law enforcement. By the time i reached 42nd Street Grand Central on the express train both tower were already hit and burning.

Before the law firm i work for split into two and the group i was with moved down to Wall Street we were on Lexington and 41st. The great thing about that building and the floor we were on is that it had a nice balcony that ran the length of the building with a north to south view running along Lexington. On a good day (which 9/11 was) you could see the Twin Towers and the Empire State building on the south side and just one block north you can see the Chrysler building with a long view of Lexington Avenue running north.

When i stepped into the office it seemed like people where there and now gone, but they were all on the balcony watching the towers burn. It was a horrific sight and something i will never forget. It just didn't seem real and you can only think of what the area down there must be like and all of the people that flooded into those two building in the morning to go to work.

After speaking to family and my girlfriend at the time who was out of state and worried about me, we switch from phones to two way pagers (we both had Motorola T900, remember those!!!) the cell and land line systems were being over loaded, but out text's were getting through.

I went downstairs to a Duane Reade across the street to get a disposable camera and by the time i got back the first tower already fell; it was heart wrenching. To take a break from work and always look down the Manhattan skyline of building and see both WTC building was a good feeling. Now only one was standing while the remaining building still burned........it would make anyone freak out a little bit inside.

After the first one fell we all knew the day was not going to be a regular work day so everyone was talking about what we should do next and plan our way home before they lock down the city. Most of the people lived in Westchester (past the Bronx by way of the Metro North Railroad) or Long Island and some lived in the city. The receptionist and I were the only ones that lived in the Bronx. I told her i was heading for Madison Avenue where there are express buses that head into the Bronx to the Parkchester section and if she wanted to join me she should get her shit and lets boogie.

By the time we left our job on Lexington Ave and passing Grand Central on Park Avenue (where they have the bridge with the road that wraps around Grand Central Station) they were kicking people out of the subways cuz they were shutting down the WHOLE SUBWAY SYSTEM AND METRO NORTH (Metro North begins at Grand Central so a lot of people were assed out if they didn't leave on the last trains heading out).

We weaved through the sea of people with faces that didn't know what to do or where to go cuz their day was thrown into chaos. We made it to the line where the stop was for the express buses. We didn't care which one we got on just as long as it headed into the Bronx. I was just going to take a cab home from where ever they dropped us off. It was standing room only and we were packed in tight. The driver couldn't stop if he wanted to because we were already packed and couldn't take on any more passengers. With each stop we passed you can see the lines growing and growing and the people screaming at the buses to stop. The mass exodus of people who only worked and not lived in one of the biggest cities in the world was happening for real. What made it all that real is someone had a radio and was playing 1010 WINS and they just announced the second town had fell. People were crying, cursing and praying.

By the time we reached north of the city to the bridges that lead out of NYC and into the Bronx we were diverted because they started closing down some of the bridges to control the flow of cars and people exiting the city to the outer boroughs. We made it out and the driver let us out on Parkchester in the Bronx and people from there went their own ways. The receptionist lived close by; we wish each other well and safe travel and i was able to get a cab, head home to my place in the South Bronx. I was home by 11am, but some of my friends weren't so lucky because they had to walk all the way home if they couldn't catch a ride.

My day wasn't as bad as some, but that is the day i was given and all i could do was live it and tell it to all of those that want to read it.

Thank you for giving me your time and taking the time out of your day to read my words.

BSoM

Breathe

Focus your mind,
Breath in the future,
Exhale the stress,
Find your balance.
-BronxStateOfMind

For All You Mouth Breathers

I was on the train today and i noticed a few people breathing through their mouth. Its not like i'm against it....if you have to do it for some reason then by all means.

Thing is when you really think at how your body work you really should breath through your nose. Your nose is the bodies natural air filter. How you ask?

Hair and mucus.

Both trap a lot of particles in the air we breath while nasal cavity helps constantly push out the mucus out of your nose where the particle land and get stuck. Then once and a while you have to pick/blow it out of your nose.

If you've ever been in a brightly lit area and you see little things floating in the air imagine what you dont see and understand you are breathing that into your body.

No you don't have to be scared if you're a hypochondriac, but pay mind to and understands what goes into your body and what comes out. It can save you a lot of downtime from being sick or run down in general; sometimes feeling shitty isn't a mind state it can be a physical cause.

Peace

On My Fall Watch List

I hope the show is as good as its commercials. I'm really into a good science fiction show and i hope it lives up to its hype.

I'm even skipping a night at the gym to check it out and besides i need an evening of rest too and why not tonight.

I'mma get home cook up some chicken and pasta; make my slammin iced tea, relax and enjoy the show.

You Gotta Becareful

I was at the gym last night and when you walk in you immediately see some weight machines and the row of treadmills.....well after i did my cardio and working towards the weight machines I noticed this older woman, shes looks about late 30's early 40's and the only reason i noticed her was she was going hard on the treadmill.

I set myself up on one of the machines and ready to do my thing and guess who comes flying off the fucking thing like she's being thrown by an unknown force and some how her water bottle went with her. I felt bad and laughed inside after she looked like she was ok and brushed herself off. The pain on her face seemed more from embarrassment cuz it was a packed house so all eyes were on her.

Lesson learned.......know your limits or you will get hurt. Be safe when you plan on passing your limitations.

From My Heart Thank You...

Shout out to you Nicky for your kind words and advice. You've been a huge supporter and I thank you for your tremendous insight into a lot of things. You're right i'm not handling things right locked away from life and other people, it ain't the way to live and i'm doing what i'm doing when i'm doing it, lol.

If my one love does not come back to me i may have to accept it deep down, but i know that love might come back to me with a different person, but its still love and i have to see it for what it is.

Moving on might be hard if it happens, but hey my heart is out and all i speak is truth so nothing else is left but to live my life and make myself happy even if my heart will be alone for a while.

I know i can make my own self stronger and can't let anyone stand in my way that doesn't understand what i'm trying to do to better myself and those in my life.

The best men/women have the biggest faults and it takes a genuine person to see that and help them through it no matter how much pain they are in. That is one definition of love and strength in a person. I hope i find that again. THE STRONGEST HEART HURTS THE MOST.

My brand new day is coming soon and i hope it is as i expect it to be. I'm waiting to see what the future holds for me and if my brand new day is with my wife, even better yet i can't get my hopes up.

But for now its back to the gym for me; no one is focusing on me but me and ur right i should like the smiles i'm getting :)


P.S. Did you send in that complaint to pizza hut corporate already??
ru ru ruoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, LMAO

I Recommend...

Working out.......

I'm just sorry I didn't develop this drive early in life and i just hope i can reach my goals at my age (30) as if i was in my early twenties. At my worst I've been floating between 250 to 300 lbs and i'm only 5'10/11. So yea i looked like a butterball. Through the years I've slowly been gaining ground on having a body that i want and need..........not to mention the current stresses I have now.............I dipped down to (as of this morning) 214 lbs with my body tone coming in nicely cuz of the cardio/weight training and weight loss.

When my stimulus check came in from the government and i was taking a walk to clear my head i saw a sale banner from this dinky hood gym and took advantage of the deal hoping it wouldn't turn out like my last membership to the fancy N.Y.S.C. in Manhattan and going once a month for a few months then canceling the membership. It was the best investment i've put towards myself. It gets me out of the house so i don't have to choose between working out and sitting on the couch on the computer and watching TV, cuz no matter what shit you say the TV will always win out while you generate excuse after excuse to tell yourself you will work out tomorrow.

I'm amazed at how my body has responded quickly to the workout regimen I've made for myself and its helping me clear my head and make some positive mental space.

If you're going through some tough times, don't lash out at other, yourself or do something that is not in your character and will regret later.

Find your space and plan something out and work yourself out. I read a few things where working out helps with the body chemistry and you feel less stressed. What can be negative about helping your body get stronger and mind relaxed? You will be too tired to deal with the bullshit going on and know that its not worth letting the stress destroy your body.

This is by no means is a bible to a good workout; it is only a template that i hope you can use and switch up to your preferences with what is available in your area. You can even plan a good workout without having a memebership to a gym and use the world as your gym.

Since i have a mix of moderate body fat, but still have a decent muscle structure I am able to start my work out like this:

Please have the proper clothes and workout sneakers; like i said i joined a hood gym and people are working out correctly, but you do have the people who work out with jewlery, shit i've seen dude work out with jeans!! So do yourself a favor and get proper gear before you work out. Focus especially on sneakers cuz you can really hurt your feet if you dont have proper footwear.

Start
1. Stretch - Most important, never start a workout without this.

2. 5 to 15 minutes cardio (or more*) - I prefer the stair master, but find your zone with whatever equipment.

3. Stretch again - always helpful if muscles tightened up slightly.

--------------------
*Stop here if you are really over weight you should really focus on a ton of cardio mixed with different cardio machines and your diet before you add weight training to your regimen.
--------------------
Work with a trainer or do your research on how to approach weight training and tone/ strengthening your muscle structure. Develop a nice set/rep (i do 3 sets of 10 repetitions) situation for the weights and equipment you use. You want to gradually grow your body to something wonderful, it will not happen quickly.
--------------------

4. I split my visits with upper and lower body workouts. Alternating working your structure from waist down and waist up helps so that if one part of you is sore from yesterdays workout you can work the other half instead of insanely working out your whole body and having to take a long rest away from the gym because your whole body is too sore or wrecked to visit.

5. Stretch again and take a 5 minute breather and always have plenty of water with you. Take a quick walk to keep your body warmed up if they have an big enough area that is not in use.

6. 3 to 5 minutes cardio.

7. Cool down & stretch again.

Break that laziness barrier and do something positive for yourself and you will see that it will be positive for the people around you and affect them as well. Lead by example.

Watching/Watched The VMA's

And it seems to me that they severely cut the budget to put this piece of shit on the air. Whom ever they fired that put together previous successful shows on the air, need to kiss his or her ass to get 2009 poppin' again.

Maybe it's a good indication that most of the commercials being played are shows created by and airing on MTV. Losing that sponsorship money must hurt. Oh by the way the huge L shaped notices with the past VMA trivia was really lame. A marquee at the bottom would have been much classier and easy on the eyes.

As far as the performances.........come on guys it was just glorified karaoke. Unless you have labor intensive performance where you wont have the breath to actually sing/rap the song cuz u dancing your ass off is just a waste of time.

Who thought it was cool to make a bunch of the announcements and award presentations from the isles next to the crowd of industry star wannabes and actual stars? Who from the looks of it they look like they don't even want to be there if MTV wasn't the one throwing the party.

Who is the ass clown hosting the show too? Never heard of him, no live stage presence and just dry wit does nothing to keep the show moving. The only laugh i seen him get was making a homo joke about him jerking off in the bathroom with Lil' Wayne. Yea find the ball you dropped MTV, the VMA's use to be the shit to watch.

And wow Jordan Sparks standing next to and presenting with John Legend.......she looked like she could fuck his ass up! She's a big girl.

Shout out to Nicky (Gioiaprivata) for keeping me company online while we laughed our asses off to this lame ass show; i think my fingers hurt from typing LOL so much.

World War Z

My opinion:
I've raved about this book before and just spreading the word that its a very good read. As the image of the book above says "An Oral History Of The Zombie War"; cant get any more simpler than that to explain what the book is about. No, zombies don't gather together against humans in an organized fashion, people turn for whatever reason and humans fight to survive.

From Wiki:
World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War (abbreviated WWZ) is a novel by Max Brooks which chronicles a fictional zombie apocalypse, specifically the titular "Zombie World War", as a series of after-the-fact oral history interviews with prominent survivors.

Soon to be a movie which i'm praying will be awesome.

Had This Freaking Verse In My Head For A While

Welcome to hell where Joell grew up at,

Where the crack heads try to sell you hub caps,

Where the hoe broads try to sell you butt crack,

So when you hit the crib your wife smells your nut sacks,

When i rhyme they say that i bring Pun back.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Artist: Joell Ortiz (Visit his blog listed on the right)
Album: DJ Nice & Legend: Joell Ortiz - The Brooklyn Bomber
Track 13 - 90's Free Agent Freestyle (Second verse)

My internet is gimp'ed right now so i can't post the whole album for download, but it was offered free online (i think) or i'm sure someone posted it for download if it wasn't. Google is your friend so don't be lazy and search.

Wisdom & Compassion

"Some religions believe compassion is the most important spiritual quality, but they fail to give any attnetion to wisdom. The result is that you can end up being a good-hearted fool."

From Good Question, Good Answer by S. Dhammika

http://www.buddhanet.net/qanda.htm

This is a great read for the open minded.

My Life In The World Comes First

I've had a few people contact me to ask me if I'm ok and where did i go from my usual online haunts.

Well it's real simple. My life in the outside world where my feet meet the ground, my lungs breath the air and where life really happens is what always comes first. Not my online presences.

I'm not known to splash what is going on in my life online cuz i believe a problem should be confronted and solved to the best way possible and to air shit out just to have eyes on me is just plain wrong on me and not right to the other people involved.

I've made my mistakes and hoping the people in my life and God find it in their heart to forgive me. I've never been anything short of a human being; faults and positivity combined.