The Family In My Head

The Beast inside is loose and he loves what he sees, no more battles with Sister Love he was created to fight, only self imposed walls of segregation his creator erected to keep Fear satisfied, the beast knows for his life to have any meaning he must destroy theses walls, protect his older siblings and force his creator to enjoy life once more.

Brother Creativity shows him the many ways of turning nothing into something.

Brother Focus keeps him on his path for his new mission.

Sister Love forgives him, comforts him and lets him know his mission is to create something from the anger that created him that will stand the test of time.

Brother Wisdom whispers with power in his ear...break bread and enjoy the company of your brothers and sister for your creator will need each and all strengths ready to take on the trials life puts him through.

Brother Fear watches and wonders what will become of him; the walls will soon come down. Will he be forgotten once victories are won and progress is made and their creator is happy and wants more of life? But no....Fear knows he will always be needed; he is one of the driving forces of change in his creator.  He knows without him the spark of will power will never appear for his all important creator to move to that next step instead of being comfortable in the position he is in and shrink into obscurity.  He knows he cannot break his creator, only strengthen him to face life and all its wonders and tragedies.

Along with the rest of his family the Beast knows his role now and it's time to blaze a path so bright that it will make his creator proud.

BSoM

JamRock Indeed

I moved on from my last music post and dusted off a nice album that I would recommend to those who may have heard of him, but never got around to listening to his music let alone this wonderful album.

Damian Marley - Welcome To Jamrock

I highly recommend giving this a listen if you haven't or revisit it and make sure you have your speakers on high when jamming out to this wonderful album which (I believe, not sure) spawned the upcoming anticipated album Distant Relatives with Damian and Nas which i will be looking forward to.



Mind you, I have like over ten thousand songs on my drive that I collected over the years and its hard to zero in on good music that encompasses the whole album and this is one such album; others I would consider in this category would be (in no such order):

Maxwell - Urban Hangout Suite
Pharoahe Monch - Internal Affairs
Soundbombing Volume 2 (Fucking Amazing Album!)
DJ Honda - HII (Love the track "Travellin' Man - Mos Def)
99% Of Big Pun's stuff (Check previous post as to why)
A Tribe Called Quest - Midnight Marauder
Biggie - Ready To Die
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
KRS-One - Return Of The BoomBap
Joell Ortiz - The Bodega Chronicles
Wyclef Jean - Presents The Carnival
90% of Nirvana's Catalog (great music for my high school days)


I know; I KNOW there are other great ones out there and I know I'm leaving some personal ones out due to the fact I'm trying to get my thoughts together before I get distracted again and don't post for a while.  Mind you I don't have a musical background nor do I write for a music magazine, these are my PERSONAL choices, but always open to recommendations.

BSoM

Avoid Me At All Cost!

Good lord, after 31 years on this rock spinning through space i'm learning how to drive a fucking car.  This is only pathetic if i didn't live in this wonderful city with 24/7 transit.

Every now and then I have gotten behind the wheel for a very short amount of time, nothing that would really leave an imprint or have me walking away with something learned and wanting to get behind again.  Nor have I had friends or family with cars that have the time or trust to teach me.  I let it go since it seems like I wasn't going to be transplanted to a place where I needed to learn or it would be miles and miles of walking and waiting for buses that never seem to come.

Speed up to now and with the patience to teach, my girlfriend is teaching me how to drive her car.  Granted she was hesitant since I let my Learners Permit to lapse and had to get an regular state ID, but after I scored my permit a while back she feels a bit relieved and is pushing me (hard) to get my license.

Right now its great.  I can navigate the regular streets really well even tho she laughs that sometime I drive like and old lady...........it might be the fact that i'm in a half ton semi-sports car with two lives depending on how careful I drive to make sure we don't end up in the emergency room because someone learning to drive got to comfortable behind the wheel of a car.

There are only a few things I can't stand about the whole driving experience......
1. Asshole aggressive drivers.....now my girl is an aggressive driver (not the asshole type), but when it's time to let people merge into a lane and being a respectful driver she does all that very well; but those few who just terrorize people because they have to hurry up to a place where it doesn't matter what time they get there......just asshole'ish behavior that shouldn't be tolerated cuz they put their own and other peoples life at risk.

2. Highways
It might just be I have to get use to the high speed and constant attention that's needed to travel the highways of NYC; its nerve racking to someone who is starting to learn; so you know at like 6am on the weekend is the only time i'm learning on the highways for now.  Although there are exceptions, like when we went to get our new dog a year ago......we traveled so far i think we were like an hour from the Canadian border; we had to switch off so she could get some rest.....coming back was no fun because it was cold, but not cold enough for snow so it rained HEAVY; that was my first highway experience and i think i did well, but it left me....cautious.

Over all i'm getting use to it and can't wait to be a constant driver and someone that doesn't give it a second thought, but is always careful cuz not many people walk away from a crash and if you do sometimes you painfully limp your whole life all from just one hurtful event in your whole entire life............Drive Safe Everyone.

BSoM

Thanks Tupac

 

If he wondered if "heaven's got a ghetto" then I guess this is what the fast food wars would really look like.

"I SERVE BREAKFAST ALL DAY BITCHASS CLOWN, WHO YOU CLAIM NUGGA!!"

BSoM

Put All That Is Toxic Behind You

I saw you, that is to say I seen you...in my rear view,

My only mission I have now is to surpass you,

Surpass the levels of pain you fed me on the daily,

The guilt trips to nowhere,

But out of a wall of tears flows a new man with a lovely plan to live the life I dream with a new fam,

A better love that gives me hope with each pump of blood,

The heart is stronger now this time around, to see through the cover of the silent demon you kept hidden away, you know the one who took the reigns during our battles after the real you ran away,

Unable to stand on the sand you called your solid foundation, I built a new home you're never welcomed in, our last chapter of life together is done, call it revelations.

BSoM

Don't Qoute Me Boy Cuz I Ain't Said Shit...

Through my short time on this earth there are a few things that shook or shaped my life; this time around its a few selective quotes that either changed my way of thinking or just my outlook on life.  Granted these aren't all just some I could think of at the time and stick out the most in my mind.

First was:
"Never kiss anyone's ass"

This one is one of the rare things I learned from my father when he was around to raise me.  Don't get me wrong he wasn't a bad father, but to compared the life I had with him as a true father/son relationship it falls way short.  He told me this one day and it really stuck; I guess back in his day when things were much rougher for minorities he didn't want me to do what he might have done to keep a job.  Sure my family can be considered to some to be lucky (who think in that way) just cuz we're light skinned Puerto Rican's with "good hair" (which I find idiotic in this day and age; small minds make for small thoughts).........but consider the day and age.  My dad lived the active part of his life which was the 70's to the early 90's.  All we were considered was the non-threatening looking people from the ghetto they could work with, but kept at arm's length.

He use to work at a supermarket around Pelham Parkway up in the BX; i guess as a way of showing me what hard work can be, earn some change and in a weird way to spend some time with me he let me pack bags at the registers, yes this was my first job, lol.  Aside from trying to fuck every piece of pussy in that place (which i think he did) i saw his interactions with his higher ups whom he worked his ass off for.  They basically made him the guy to run the store while they were his overseers....but of course not making the same money as they were.  This enforced that jewel he dropped on me and while i will never kiss anyone's ass, i do extend a curtain respect that people in general deserve. If they fuck that up?  Well, respect is easily taken as it was given.


Next:
"Sometimes It's Good To Be A LITTLE Selfish"

This one i kinda developed on my own; not because I'm a selfish bastard or anything (but piss me off or rub me the wrong way and i can be).  It came about, i believe, when i was giving someone advice who felt like they were doing their best to keep their head above water; they felt people were pulling them down.  They didn't want to NOT help people, but they didn't want to be taken down with them making it a loss for all involved.

I basically told them "why would you hurt yourself so bad that you cant/wont help anyone in the future for this person".  Face it a lot of people we know can be takers if all you are is a giver.  Now this is not me saying not to help anyone, but even Jesus said "get your ass up and learn to fish cuz I'm not gonna be serving you every time you tell me you're hungry!!!"  Y'all bible thumpers know the quote I'm talking about.

If you're strong enough to help someone then who would stop you?  But if you're running on fumes try not to hurt your life to help someone cuz then it will be two people that lose.


Another:
"Learning From Your Mistakes Is Smart, But Learning from Others Mistakes Is Wise"

This is a Chinese Proverb that i picked up in High School and really never left my head.  I like it cuz it straight to the point and letting you know other people go through shit everyday; keep your eyes and ears open so if you have a chance to learn from what they been through you're a few steps ahead of this game called life (and NO not that funky board game).


Another:
A Jack Of All Trades Is A Master Of None"

This one kinda floored me when i read it in an article somewhere.  And its kinda true; i would kinda consider myself a light jack of all trades, but as soon as i read the end of this quote it felt all too real.  Aside from being a Paralegal, I'm not really a master of anything i do well.  I know computers....up to a point; i love science and learning about it, but never followed that field.  I'm extremely organized person that can keep track of my stuff that i organize, yet i wonder why i never ended up in the career field of Logistics.  I doubt at my age there are many "missed opportunities", but if i don't want to miss out then i need to see what i can become a master at.

And so should you.......

BSoM

A Car Driving By With A BOOMIN' System...

I guess from time to time when I find some interesting music I will post my opinion about it; such as the Travis Barker remix of Forever a few days ago.

The last FULL album i was rocking was that Slaughterhouse CD and that is PURE LYRICAL FIRE.
GET. IT. NOW.  Especially if you are a hip hop lyrical head.  Your walls will bleed when you blast that at home.

Right now what is making me deaf for the past few weeks since its release is Lil Wayne's No Ceiling Mixtape; now i know there are a bunch of people who couldnt give a fuck about him and thats cool; he's not my favorite, but he does rise above most who just rap about the same thing over and over and over again; I do enjoy his twist and style.

The ignorant side of me likes it a lot, but the side of me that acutally uses brain power sees it as a good listen, but since a free mixtape with him spitting with no apparent structure as he would for an album it lacks a path for someone to follow when listening to a story.  Well except for songs that are geared towards women and his ability to be a playa and handle his chicks; he's kinda on point with those songs alone.

The beat jacking he does is cool and he picked some hot tracks to jack.  My fav's are Wasted, Banned from TV and Run This Town; honorable mention is I Gotta Feeling.

The thing about him releasing this album for free to his fans is that most the songs (again) lacks a story line and just filled with punchline after punchline and over the top word play.  He's basically saying the things he's saying to say them cuz he thinks they are hot, but i have to agree most of it is hot if that's the sort of thing you are into when you listen to music like this.

Out of 10 i would give this a 7.5; it's a good listen and a nice change from the songs that these beats belong to that play on the radio a hundred times a day.

BSoM

PURE HOTNESS!!!!!!! Tell EVERYONE About It!

SPREAD THE WORD KIDS.....DONT BE SELFISH EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW HE DOES THIS.

Travis Barker is the man on the drums and has done something that is simply amazing.  Through his skills he is able to remix songs with his own amazing drum tracks that even if you shun all forms of music except Hip-Hop he makes you bang your head until its damn near READY TO FALL OFF.

His remixes of Soulija Boy's - Crank Dat, Busta Rhymes - Dont Touch Me Now and a bunch of others is nothing short of jaw dropping amazing.  He even blesses us with video of the making of his personal remix which shows you the purness of his genius.  I listen to this so loud and so often my ears hurt.

Shout out to the cave man who grabbed two stick and started banging on dried anamial skin becuase if he didnt we wouldnt have this.

Hardcore shit that will never stink.

BSoM

P.S. He KILLED it during the Wayne verse.

News Article:
http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1626034/20091111/barker__travis.jhtml

Download Song:
http://usershare.net/cvhvumsu7jr3

Good Lord I Ate A Lot Of Subway

You know what.....fuck Jared, fuck him in his skinny ass with one of his foot long Subway sandwiches with extra chipotle sauce.

Forget it, leave his ass alone......i was just mad.

I started playing the subway scrabble game so i basically upped my intake of their food in hopes of winning something nice; considering some of my luck recently i decided to give it a go.

Closest i've gotten were two instant prizes for a gaming site that is tied into the promotions; also all i need is the letter S to win an island vacation; now being i just came back from a cruise for my birthday week i really wouldn't mind heading out again to someplace nice! (more on the cruise later, work has me crazy busy)

It seems like i wont really get anything out of this except the turds i'm leaving in the toilet........My loss can be some what your gain; i got a ton of those promo 20% discount codes for Champs Sports.......and i dont really shop with them for sporting goods so i might as well hit you guys up with it, if ya need to shave off a few dolla bills from that online order.

Use at www.champssports.com
20% discount on all orders; dont know if you can use more than one at one time
(most likely you can't)

Redeem by 12/31/2009
(can't use past that date, for the dummies that dont know what REDEEM means)

For some reason it has Cashier Code on the tickets, its: 72920
(same for all, doubt if you'll need it)

1. NSKH-JWTW-DBQJ

2. BFZQ-BSZX-RCSJ

3. FTXV-TQQQ-RXSL

4. JHKR-FLFK-MFTD

5. JJKL-SZLS-MZND

6. ZSMH-RRXF-JVNS

7. KCZK-QJCL-TCVQ

8. QNPV-LMJJ-QLWX

9. HVDN-LBDR-SCDR

Get'em while their hot!!!


BSoM

WHO. WANT. WHAT.

I'm back! I got some shit to post; some good, some bad and God knows what else that oozes the fuck outta my head; as random as my thoughts are....anything can be written.

To all those that waited just to see the ideas of someone that might offer insight or just to hate and call me plain crazy, thank you.

My life is still focused on my love that has my heart and dealing with the shit heads i have to face day in & out; i just know i gotta post up which helps hit the release valve on my brain box.

Right now i can't wait to get home, spend time with my girl and watch the season finale of True Blood; they really stepped their shit up this season.

But watching out of shape people with black eyeballs gyrating in pudding filled piles of human skin on the floor in public is not an erection giver.  Also who the fuck gets the nickname EGGS.......you'd think he'd have a farting problem.

Peace, One Love, and I Love Titties (like it or not sharing is caring!!!!)

BSoM

P.S.  Feels good to write again :-)


**Orange Juice U Argie**

I Thank God I Kept My Hairline

Woooooooo, I was saving this picture to go along with a stress post I was going to write a month or so ago. The stressed flipped into blog posting laziness and its only now i'm able to put stuff up without pounding on my keyboard like i'm trying to smash the friggin' thing to bits.

I'm still debating weather I should just speak on the things I've had to do and gone through, but as of last week really the final big boulder has been taken off my back and i'm doing much better; God blessed me with a better and new support system that puts me in a place i felt i should have been at a long time ago.

Hope for something that can help breed positivity in your life long enough and doesn't wish bad on anyone and it will truly be granted.

Always remember to give back as much goodness that has been given to you; keep that cycle alive.

BSoM

Not Recommened For Large Foreheads

I find it more stress relieving if you take the head of the person causing you your stress and bang their head against this wonderful anti-stress device.

BSoM

My Crawling Creativity

In my life I've been blessed with a strange way of thinking; is it just mental illness or just creativity unfocused?

Of course I'll lean towards the latter since mental illness doesn't run in my family.......much.

The way I think (to me) is very painful; I'm into so many things that inspire new ways of thinking on top of the fact that I hardly forget anything nor do I want to forget anything. I'm also what you might call a Never Ending Problem Solver by which any question or situation that is presented to me I do my best to solve it or work around it if I can't punch through it. It's a lot to process every waking hour.

My mind doesn't rest, but it stalls the way I function. By that I mean the way you think is not dictated by the clock on the wall. I'll be the first to admit I can be a slow person when something is not a rush; plenty of people can testify a little to loud to this too, lol. Most of that is due to me being stuck in my own head on whatever thought occupies me at the time; by the time I notice I've wasted daylight and god forbid wasted mine or someone else time. Which can make me feel bad......slightly.

It's kinda bad since being like this slows me down, but I walk away with new things in my mind that might help me or someone else since I believe helping people any way you can brings positivity to you; just dont hurt yourself to much to help someone.

One thing that I like, but kinda has me worried is a lot of my creativity comes out if i'm working with someone; that back and forth can be great and spawns wonderful ideas, but me with my never ending self-questioning asks "can I bring that out of myself alone?". Time will tell if I can find an answer to that question.

BSoM

It Can Help You Or Get The Better Of You

Nowadays by nature people are (or can be) very paranoid. Of course there are varying degrees which can be tolerated if you have someone like this in your life, but at a persons core, everyone is a bit paranoid.

I know I am.

I guess it's that part of my nature that questions everything. Or that little voice in the back of my head that always says "are you sure".

Trust issues can spawn this; believe me I had MAJOR trust issues (keyword HAD); but as always you have to learn from it. Or it will eat you from the ass up.

Trust your instincts and beat the snakes from the grass.

BSoM

Been Around A While, But Still A Must See...

A few months ago i had the pleasure of seeing the show The Blue Man Group. I gotta say i'm not a "theater guy" whatsoever, but this show i loved.

Of course this isn't the whole sing and dance kinda show.......i mean come on what other show incorporates Captain Crunch as a stage prop?

I intentionally wore a bright blue shirt with a really bright blue tie for the event; which was kinda over dressing since people were in street clothes and hats, but no matter. The highlight for me is i was picked to turn the lights off to the whole theater (there is some crowd participation). It was a great and fun time. These guys are gifted and really funny.

Overall i enjoyed the show and highly recommend it. Its not corny or lame. It was a fun night out.

BSoM

Lord Bring The Summer Time Cuz.....

Honestly, as the good weather creeps in i'm doing plenty of fun stuff; God knows last summer went straight down the toilet, the fall and winter spawned something that is growing quickly and gaining ground and is the main focus in my life.

This year is a focused TAKE NO SHIT year for me. If you're in my life you can either stand aside, walk with me or get walked over. My tongue begged for me to stop biting it, but trust I still have verbal venom control :-)~

Most of my goals are clear and being reached one by one. Summer will shine on us and the road will be rocky before its smooth. I will enjoy every second of the ride.

BSoM

Play With My Emotions, Not My Money...

I work around Wall Street and lets just say I'm glad these fat useless business men didn't start jumping out their windows cuz of this ruined economy. We're a long way from the 1930's, but back then they took shit more seriously that they would actually end their life when stressed enough or faced with a 180 degree about face with their finances.

We can't forget to thank former President George W. Bush and his buddies for setting the stage for this mess and handing President-elect Barack Obama with a nice pile of economic bullshit wrapped in a cute little bow.

As with anything that happens in the world; things will come out of this blunder that will of course strengthen the economy for years to come.

I guess sometimes you do need greedy selfish idiots in charge to really effect positive change for the rest of us. Times are changing and I hope this habit the U.S. has changes with it.

BSoM

TV, I Miss U........Not Really

Around mid November due to some money issues I had my Cable service cut for about a month. Now I'm not that hooked to TV that I freaked out about it; as you know I download a lot of the shows I love so that helped.

I really didn't miss anything other than NY1 for my morning viewing while I'm getting dressed and my general CNN/DISC/FOOD and other channels for general and knowledge viewing.

It also gave me time to think how bad I was hooked on TV. I would watch shows over and over again that I've seen years ago (or semi-recently) and it amazed me that this is what would consume (maybe) 4 or more hours of my evening after I got home from work.

TV really puts you in a headlock and doesn't let you go. This made me put the mirror in front of myself for some self-refection...........I don't give myself much to do at home. Sure I clean my apartment, play with my dog, work on my computer........but those I do by default day in/out.

I'm in the mists of giving myself some project and keeping myself from constantly watching TV just to watch it. It slows me down, get me mentally and physically exhausted, but what's worse is I do like many people and have bullshit playing on the TV just to have it as background noise and I'm not even focused on what's being shown while I do my day to day work around the house. I see this as a very bad sign. This is why now I'm putting my massive music collection to work, but I need a better sound system (which I'm working on).

I know people do need distractions cuz their mad stressed. You do not want to stop and think cuz of your problems and issues start to creep in; people need to just think, imagine and stretch the boundaries of your thinking without something (like TV) nipping at the edge of your ear taking your full attention from yourself, your mental energy or ability to think beyond what's fed to you by outside sources which aren't 100% reliable. Once you notice this you'll see that most of the things you think of and come up with are just things you heard from TV.

Granted I was forced to do this, but give yourself a break from TV every now and then; you gotta exercise your mind and see what kinda thinker you are. It takes practice and focus, but you'll be proud you did it.

BSoM

Keeping It Real

This retarded phrase is amusing to me; if you read my blog you know there are a lot of things that annoy the fuck outta me and right now i'm in that mood.

I have no idea when or where this ghetto quip farted from someone's mouth into the world, but I have to say......right now it's more worn out than a bra strap on a jumpy big titty chick.

Honestly if we actually "keep it real" then most of us would be disgusted with ourselves and one another. I can only truly speak for myself; For this topic i must say with my version of "keeping it real" can result in a 50/25/15/10 percentage split of who I can be (most of the time):

(50%) Being a good guy, honest, giving, helpful, loving those close to me and being positive.
(25%) On the hunt, looking for that next thing to help me grow in life and expand my thinking.
(15%) Keeping to myself, playing the shadow position.
(10%) Highly selfish and can give less than a fuck to those that are not on my good side.

I know people who really "keep it real" and trust me those are the type you really don't want anything to do with; they are not healthy to someone's life other than their own. Keep them at arm's length. I compare them to a ship sailing the seas with its anchor down.

Before you spit those words "I Keep It Real", think to yourself......."Who Am I & Do I Keep It Real With Myself".

Don't be a bastard unless you have to be and as always stay positive.

BSoM

This REALLY Makes Me Want To Be A Dad

(click to ENLARGE)

P.S. If you do shit like this you should be euthanized

The Force Is Strong In This One

Congrats on our new Democratic president. Also for the Democratic Party which now has control of the House AND Senate. Plenty of change coming soon, but not before all of the reversing of the last nut and his puppet masters failed policies for this country. I wish him all the best and pulling for him and the health of our nation.

BSoM

Please DO NOT Elect This Man Nov. 4th

I fear for the safety of all the Equus caballus (Horses to you and I). This man must not be elevated to the post of President of The United States. If he can take sexual advantage of a horse while for whatever reason it has its head in (or stuck) a tree......imaging what he will do to the rest of us once he's in charge of the most powerful country in the world.

Yes I did weep a little inside when i saw this horrific act. I will pray for the safety of the person who took this picture for i believe they will not be long for this world.

Vote for change; Vote against horse rape; Vote for Obama

BSoM

Happy Holloween Ya'll

Please refrain from acting like the above idiots when out partying this Halloween evening. I don't know what i might do, I'll just see what my friends are up to. Dont know if I'll dress the part either. Its been a while and its kinda late getting something.

BSoM

To All The Faceless, These Are My Mantra's

I have a lot of things i tell myself to get myself through difficult situations or just through the day. Below are some of the things i keep close to me to help myself deal with the world as i see it.

Who are The Faceless.....most of you are. I enjoy my visitors weather you leave a comment or not, but most of you i do not know, you are my faceless friends/fans/critics/supporters and i hope my words bring you a different kinda insight from those who choose to not peek from above the box that is their life that crosses paths with yours.

What are your Mantra's? Below are mine.

TO EACH THEIR OWN

Think of everyone as having their own Vibe Line; you know like the strings on a musical instrument; we all create our own sounds/vibe along side one another. This is what helps me prepare myself to deal with someone I've never dealt with. I never have any curtain expectation when dealing with a person because once you interact with them and you have your mind open you can feel their vibe and hopefully it will be a positive exchange; if it is...wonderful...continue that growth and learn as much as you can from one another. If not, take what you learned and grow within while you move on with your life.

A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE

This is just the OCD organizer in me. I admire those that can keep a controlled mess around them, but something about me and the way I'm wired likes to have everything in line, shaped up straight and put in its proper place. It's a weird zone i put myself in and i do get in over my head because organization does get tricky when you're dealing with too much detail.

UNDERSTANDING IS KEY

I've gone through tons of things in my life, but these are my experiences, my bags i must carry until i set them down when the time calls for it. To understand someones situations and thought processes as to why they are going through what they are going through is key to helping them maneuver through the stress and reach resolution. Besides it also grows your understanding of a
person and things around you. The best Chinese proverb I've ever heard was "To learn from your mistakes is smart, to learn from other peoples mistakes is wise". Some of you may not want to open your eyes and ears to others when they need someone, but think about what you might learn for your own good.

NEVER KISS ANYONE'S ASS

This is one of the few things I've learned from my father. No one respects an ass kisser and those that do only get used. Stand strong, but not over bearing and always know that respect is not achieved by brown nosing.

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY/ASK

You wanna try something? You wanna know something? What the fuck are you standing around waiting for......try it, ask for it. Never sit around wondering if you should; hoping it will come to you instead of you going to it. Do what you need to do to bolster yourself up, but don't take too long, then go get yours. Don't let those situations pile up from when you wish you would have asked or tried something when the opportunity presented itself. Regret is like a cold finger down the crack of your ass....a funny and unpleasant feeling.

SOMEONE OUT THERE HAS IT WORSE

Its kinda hard to think about it because you have to touch on someone else's misery to know that whatever you're going through.....you really haven't hit the bottom of the barrel. Know that life throws people many challenges and you may not wish to think of it, someone out there is getting it worse than you'll ever imagine. Keeps things in perspective when you bitch about something someone wish they could bitch about, but can't.

DO MORE NOW TO DO LESS LATER

Kinda self explanatory. Don't be lazy, lol.

WHEN THE TIME CALLS FOR IT WORK ON YOURSELF, BE A LITTLE SELFISH

Do people gravitate towards you? Do they feel you are their dock to their wandering ship? How battered and drained do you feel after being someones "go to guy"? Take that time out for yourself, be selfish enjoy your life and please yourself, hell have others please you for a change. Its best to recharge yourself from time to time so those that seek your light through their storm know that you will always be there. But be nice and give fair warning to those you will ignore so in a way you'll still be there for them, but you're gently nudging them on a path to help themselves when you're not around cuz you're on your "me time" grind.

BSoM

Body Upkeep....A Few Thoughts

Growing up in a home and being the only male AND the youngest made me realize a few things about the upkeep of a human being. I really didn't see it as "women upkeep" cuz i cant front my dad wasn't living with us and when he and i would spend the little time we did together i noticed he kept himself really proper for the simple fact......you have to take care of yourself.

Right now all I'm focusing on in this post is appearance. A books contents are above all extremely important, but if you want people to read you, lets face it...the cover needs to draw attention.

Some people use gimmicks, follow trends while others like to follow their voice and pick from various places to make themselves look as they feel they should. As i mentioned before i observed a lot from my family growing up and when I came to that age of noticing girls (high school for me) I did my best with what i had to help cover the contents of my book. Granted my book was fatter than other (yea i was the fat boy in school), but i made sure i wasn't the "stinky kid" or the "nasty fat boy". I had a lot of misses, but some hits so i know it wasn't all that bad, high school after all is very superficial.

Once i was done with high school and did a few months in college i was out in the world. When you're on your own things can go in many different directions when you're the only one responsible for your physical upkeep. I've seen extremes on both end and everything in between. Its kinda weird to see people not really give a shit about their personal appearance or how curtain aspects of their physical that other people can notice (smells being one of them) they tend to not pay that much attention too and let slip. On the flip side I've seen people spend way too much time on themselves to the point of acting like a mannequin while they are out and about and hope that not even a single strand of hair is out of place. To each their own of course.

Where am i with my physical upkeep? I'm good with mine; I'm working out more, i make sure i look presentable. I'll admit sometimes let the facial hair go to get that rugged look going. Most of the time I'm straight with mines, only problems i have is dry lips and facial hair issues. I don't like putting anything on them (lips) and when i lose focus on myself i tend to find myself with them (dry lips)....which i then immediately correct as with anything else along with any hints of a uni-brow (which i find disgusting).

I wont front when I'm able to i like to get my nails done with a nice buff polish. If you're a dude reading this.....WOMEN NOTICE YOUR HANDS. Unless they like that look of you digging through the dirt all day AND having a fight with a bottle of Talcum Powder, you should look into fixing that up. I would say unless ur like me with naturally soft hands and feet, having rough skin is a 50/50 thing with women, some like soft others like rough.

I guess everyone may come to a point of how they take care of themselves be it good or bad; all i know is what encompasses my world, my own focus and those that are affected by it.....then i just take what i know, what i learned and see if its a good addition to my arsenal.

BSoM

P.S. To any dudes AND females reading this or who like to give advice like this to other people.......NEVER and i mean NEVER fart before a date after you've gotten dressed. That shit lingers and you don't wanna be smelling like ass when you're trying to get up close to a cutie and it smells like you forgot to wipe. I'm just sayin'.

P.P.S. Good point from TrapSwagg in the comments; i forgot to mention the whole "Metrosexual" bullshit. I am and never will go to that extreme and if that's you or your man then hey more power to you, but i think for a man that's a little past the line of taking extra care of yourself.

I've Been Feelin' Like A Beast

I just dont know what is it, these past few weeks i've been feeling like a beast. Anything i do i want to do it with force, with strong feeling, with a drive that makes me want to knock down walls and stand on a pile of rocks banging my chest, showing my teeth and scream that human primal scream.

I see it as a positive cuz most of the time i let myself play the background with what i would kinda guess to call a "silent inner power" (when i'm having a good day). I hope this feeling last a bit longer before i get into winter mode which i'm trying to break.

I met an old aquantince while i was at the gym and while he was busy staring at the women trying to beam out that "playboy vibe" while i just focused on working out; we chatted real quick and i said i want to do the opposite of what peoples natural body clock tells them to do for the seasons; I dont want to be laid up in bed at home durning the winter gaining weight and then get my ass out and about to get myself right when spring/summer comes.

Next summer i want to be out & runnin', maybe hit the gym for some stamina training instead of losing weight for those hot summer days when i'd rather be beach bound or whatever.

All that aside i'm really running with this beast feeling and enjoying it until i hit my bad spot cuz at least i know that i have that side of me and as a man, it feels good. I wish i had it before, but we come into our own at our own pace. No one is the same. Nor should we be what people want from us if we're not ready.

BSoM

I Got My Drink And My Two Step

Things are kinda slow for me these past couple of weeks as far as not being stressed by anything, but on the flip side not that much good or anything exciting has been poppin' off. Now when that happens I'm sure you know you get to thinking about your past.

My mind touched on how my friends and I, once we hit that age, started going to strip clubs. We hit various places and the older we got and more money we had the better the place we visit.

We've hit some grimy places. I'm talking bout stretch marks for day, bad attitudes and even a 250 pound (oh, yes!) beast working the tension of her thong to its limits on that stage. Even the stripper poles were bending out of the way of her path so they don't feel the wrath of her mighty mighty meaty power and get damaged in her attempts to be sexy and get them dollar bills.

We were young and stupid. We had plenty of fun; from who got the best lap dance from the thickest female to one friend who always SWORE that the stripper was feeling him, but when he called the number she gave him it was the wrong phone #. Staggering home drunk while the sun peaked out its first light for those sorry bastards eating a shitty meal at a dirty ass diner before we slug on home and wake up that evening and do it again.

It was a fun experience; not saying its good or bad. I know i eased off when i started to look "familiar" to some of the "round the way" spots and instead of talking that good shit while getting a lap dance the girl wants to talk about her kids.......i'm like "WTF"????

On our back and forth journeys we would see the guys that we could have turned into if we weren't careful sitting at the bar, drink after drink, drunk staring at women they wish they could score, yet knowing they can't pursue anything other than good sex and a drained wallet IF they gave these guys the time of day, yet there they were time after time trying to turn a stripper into a housewife or bless them with wifey status. Its hard now a days to do that with a regular women with so much shit someone could carry that doing it with a stripper its even worse.

Its fun to reminisce on the past and from time to time....its normal and puts a smile on my face. I haven't been to a strip club in years. Its an experience a young man shouldn't be without, but it does have its limits. It's fun to visit every now and then, but when you start remembering that it's "Buffet Thursday" and that chick with the fat ass, Lexus, is dancing that day too......then you need to step back and enjoy ur life without the booty shaking you're paying for with a watered drink or 9 dollar beer in your hand.

BSoM

P.S. Wish i could have found a black barbie picture cuz i like mines Round & Brown, lol.

I Got That Fire Finger

A friend of mine asked me recently "What urks you?"

I couldn't answer that question on the spot so we thought it would make a nice post on my blog.

I can say right now that i can basically nit pick a ton of shit off anyone or anything for the simple fact is i have OCD...obsessive compulsive disorder...and hot damn if its not just that A DISORDER.

I can tell you now that is one of the things about me that urks others, but we not here for that ;-)

Anyway for the most part i pay attention to detail on many things in my life so i won't really focus on the small stuff (just some core things) cuz if i do I'll be here ALL. DAY. LONG.

LYING

I'm no saint, but i'm a person that if i meet you or i have some measure of trust in you i will believe what you say; if it's not the truth and you come to me later and you're like "ummm that's not the whole truth" I doubt I'll believe anything you'll say unless you're willing to prove it. I'd rather someone not tell me shit rather than give me a bullshit story. If you're close to someone THEY WILL FIND OUT. Besides not everyone can keep a secret. I've learned so much shit about other people through a third party, cuz they couldn't keep their mouth shut, that i just laugh inside when i see a person and know they are lying.

WALKING

Hey idiots we walk on the right in the country; move the fuck over and walk on the right. I just want to punch an idiot in the liver that wants to walk on the left or zig zags (OMG which gets in the way of EVERYONE) and fucks the walking flow up when they're trying to get to where they're going. With tourists I'll give you a pass cuz yes this city is amazing, but if you look at me like "hey douche bag I'm acting like a turkey in this city by looking up at amazing tall ass buildings while on a busy side walk, what the fuck is your problem" after i say excuse me, oh you will get the football shoulder in the heart when i breeze by.

I live and work in one of the busiest city's in the world so if they pass a law you better believe I'll be the first in line for that Liver Punching Patrol job.

VOMIT ADVICE QUOTES

Sounds nasty right? Well its not. Follow my words and you'll see it isn't. Every now and then people would ask me for advice or just ask my views on certain things. I would be true and honest in what i say because that's what they expect from a person and i make sure the person gets that when I'm speaking with them while exchanging verbal energy; hopefully they'll get something worth while from my insight and perspective.

With vomit quotes, people will just repeat the same shit that's been told over the years and we're numb to it cuz is already background advice noise. For prime example:

"There's more fish in the sea" -duh, who the fuck doesn't know that, but i just lost the one fish off my plate that i loved having, whats ur point fuck nose?

"Tomorrow's another day" -what? unless you end that sentence with "and I'm sending a hot female to make you feel better and she lacks a gag reflex", no? Then you know what.....I'll pass and close my ears to you.

"The grass is greener on the other side of the fence" -well you know what when I'm able to jump that fence to the good side after coppin a mean shit on the bad side then being able to hop over to the good side.....the only place to look at right now is to the greener side of the fence so don't remind me its better than where I'm at now.

"It is what it is" -this is now the hood's most repeated quote by far. Yea i know what it is, and i know what you're not.....original. No one sounds smart saying this fucking line anymore. Ask someone to explain it when they say this quote. All they gonna do is repeat the fucking thing again to you, lol.

INTERRUPTERS

LOL, that's for you RG!! hahahaha! Yea you know if you gonna cut in on me you better be ready for the same :-)

UNWANTED ARROGANCE

Okay we get it, you have a good life. You might be a "baller", hell you might even make it rain. But when you act like "I am the stink floating above all the shit".....that makes me smile knowing god is gonna put a foot to that throat and humble your ass.

TWO FACENESS

These people just kill me, lol. I'm talking about the type of person who jokingly calls you a hoe, but knows in the back of they head they need a new pair of knee pads cuz they been done wore out the old pair cuz of over use and runs the block with the nick name "Vacuum" that the dudes gave her. That's just pure ugly soul right there, lol. Granted that's an extreme example, but hey why half ass it and be nice?

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What I'm trying to convey here is that if someone comes to you to and seek to vent, wanting a bit of enlightenment through the pain and other things that would help ease the stress......Being there for someone in their time of need is a good thing and if you can help then even better, but cookie cutter advice just doesn't cut it anymore, life is not a sitcom; there are no commercial breaks and the tears are real.

That's all i have right now. What shit you dont like that you wanna give the fire finger to?

BSoM

Alcohol!

Christ on a crutch, this quote is soooooo true, lol.

Are people extra interested in you when they are drunk, knowing you're not that interesting?

Well now, you have some life evaluations you need to preform don't you.

BSoM

Please...

Right now my head is buzzing to the point where i can't think straight.

You ever had just random thoughts just in and out of your head like people cramming through a revolving door after someone yelled FIRE?!! Well that's me right now.

To off set things I've given myself topics and answered them. It help ease the mental. For the most part I'm not going to focus on curtain events in my life, just my general feelings on these topics.

LOVE

How do i love......sometimes with blind devotion to the point where if i can pull the heart out of my chest, thread a chain through it, glue some rhine stones on it then put it around my loved ones neck. Sounds weird and sweet all wrapped up in one, right? I've told myself plenty of times before "i'mma sucka for love"; but if that vibe goes sour, ur just a sucka. Who da fuck knows? Among politics and religion, love is one of those topics i hate to debate with people. With so many views, not many can get it right. If you cant get it right all you have is that last sentence ringing between your ears when you're sent back to the dating line "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". Please insert a foot into the ass of the idiot who came up with that line. Thanks.

DEATH

OOOOOOOOO, this is a touchy subject, but fuck what you think; I'm talking about myself and splashing my thoughts up in this blog. I think about death a lot....A LOT, if you follow my blog you'll know why. Doesn't help i got a call from my dad telling me one of my cousins is dying of lung cancer. Its a weird feeling to let those thoughts consume you and scare the shit out of you. I've had feelings of utter crippling anxiety to calming thought of whatever waits for us after our bodies pass will be something wondrous. But like the rest of the world, who the fuck knows what happens and I'm just glad these are just passing feelings and i can get over it. How can a person live when all they worry about is death? Easy, you can't. Once I'm past those thoughts I'm back to my normal self. I just hope what i bring from those feelings are new perspectives on life with what i need to do next in my life before god reaches for my switch and flicks it to the OFF position.

LIFE

Just live it. If you're old enough to know the kind of person you are and you're already bored with it, do something different. You're and introvert...so do something you normally wouldn't (safely please!). If you always worried about what people think of you and what you do.....go up to a person who is always critical about you and scream "FUCK WHAT YOU THINK" to their face. A lot of people put up their own little white picket fence around their mind and trick themselves into thinking "this is it" and I'm so fucking amazed at that. Mind you as for me i have my "think shit through" moments when making an important decision, but come on, you want to do that when picking out a pair of slacks or shoes? All I'm saying is whatever you think life is.....its much more than what you think it is.

FRIENDS

From the people you love to the people you love to hate. I've had my share of needy assholes sucking on my emotional teet for comfort it made us both look like idiots from afar. I've also had amazing friends where we did nothing but bring laughter and fun to each others life. What happens with most of my friends? Its what always happens with any kind of relationship good or bad.....people tend to drift apart and some do so permanently. Doesn't matter how they go its just that they do. If it happened to you just take what you learned and use it to grow in such a way that you're a better person as the time passes.

LUST

I've been here before so many times, but which person hasn't? From lusting for the people you know to the people you don't. This is what drives a lot of people crazy; i know I've sucked from the crazy sippy straw of the cup of lust more than once in my early years. How did I deal with it? In the past I've literally cut people out of my life because i knew what i was lusting for wasn't gonna turn into reality, its that young shit....how the fuck am i suppose to know how to deal with that shit? I've never had a mentor to guide me or dealt with anyone with the views and advice on life that would help me process the fire that burned in my youth. So when i was young it was either ALL OR NOTHING, I'm not gonna lie I've lost some good people, but fuck it.....its life right? Live it or get out of the way. If i feel that now, i just laugh because at least i know how to handle it and if its a nice risk, i might take it, but I'm getting to old for superficial risks.

PASSION

Very important part of life. To have a passion to do something is a great thing. It shows that life isn't a complete wash and the door to new experiences is still open. I'm still seeking out new passions in my life and i have a few on the hook, just seeing which one is worth pulling in. Can't blame a person for being picky. With the passion for something new weather they be hobbies, people or professions it's best not to spread yourself thin and give it proper focus.

CHEATING

Ugh! Shitting feeling it is. If you're one, god help you. Make sure your nasty ass OR the one that's fucking your nasty ass wears a condom. You're a piece of shit if you're doing this or have done this; i just hope you're comfortable with yourself if you are, because it will happen to you shitbag. That's all i got to say about that shit.

LYING/TRUTH

Everyone does it; if you haven't......well you're either a better person than i am or one of the biggest fucking liars to walk the earth. Should we lie to spare someones feeling? Sure, if they're a child. Otherwise let the truth rip baby! Weather you want to surprise smack someone on the side of the head with it or be nice about it and let them brace themselves for whats being said to them. If its the kinda thing where it will bubble up, why risk the stress of a fight if its an old lie? One of the best lines that has stuck with me "The people who tell the truth have less to remember"; i figga it this way; you'd have a better path to where your life is headed if its guided by truth.

FAMILY

These are the people you have to love, but not like. I have a few family members that i don't talk to for various reasons, none you should concern yourself with, yes i do understand blood is thicker than water......but are they not human like me? Plenty of people i do and don't get along with that aren't family, but someone who is an asshole isn't born unto himself, they are blood with someone and I'm sure they don't like them either. With me blood or relation doesn't give you a pass. Act out of turn, you can get it like everyone else.

WORK

Whats to say; we all need to do it....well for those that are able....usually its a love/hate relationship. Do what you want and love what you want to do. No matter how much money it puts in your pocket.

BSoM

With My Luck It Figures

The one day i get off on a Tuesday....of all days of the week....because of the Jewish holiday i freaking get sick. Must have been all the friends joking saying i was so lucky or they hated me (jokingly) for having the day off when some of them had to work.

I stood in bed all day; caught up on my downloaded shows and movies; read a little; chatted with friends.......ugh, i need that vacation quick i was talking about.

I feel like i lost a few things, gained a few things all the while still waiting for that major change i feel is coming in my life.

Surprisingly, I've found inspiration with smart, go getting friends that it's rubbing off on me. I got real comfortable in my space and that's just short changing myself and the person i can further become.........that needs to stop.

Time to kick life in the balls and walk away laughing.......I just gotta get the fuck outta this bed first!

BSoM

The Ever Changing BSoM

I asked myself something this morning that's been brewing in me for months that I couldn't answer; I didn't want to face what that answer might be.

Can a person change? Can I change?

My answer......fundamentally, no. But not a solid answer if think about it.

I believe we have a base design to our persona, this foundation.......our soul if you like to think that way. I think that can't be changed..... it can be made stronger, but to the core it's who we are.

Once our awareness of self kicks in we hit the ground learning. Further shaping this design by what we absorb through our day to day experiences. These experiences do help shape the temple we build above this foundation. For better or worse.

In turn we shield our true self in certain habits we developed over time that would make anyone think "this is who this ma'fucka really is?", which makes you ask yourself in the mirror every morning "why can't people see me?". How many masks do you wear? How deep did you bury that part of you that you know is the person who you are truly happy with?

And through extreme circumstances and proper guidance that is the part of us that can be changed. Most of us come to a point in time where we shed that skin or multiple skins. We take this changed life with a new outlook, a new sense of "This Is Who I Am" which is more for yourself than those around you. If those around you fail to understand, fail to see; it's alright......i learned to be true to yourself, love yourself, strengthen your foundation and above all love who you are. Then those who do see will flock to your temple in droves........Not to worship, but to share in the light it reflects and with luck it helps them change.

Change is possible.

Can you change?

BSoM

Beware Of The....

For The Big Bottom Lovers, Part 3

Found these amazing art works on the site that tagged the pictures at the bottom. I'm not gonna front; a nice big bottom girl is a beautiful thing which is why i found these pictures amazing and decided to share.
The site is a NSFW site so view it when you're at home. Also most of the pics are pretty graphic so you've been fore warned.

For The Big Bottom Lovers, Part 2

For The Big Bottom Lovers, Part 1